I was just about to make a post on this actually...right now I don't care about anything. Basically, each day, I drag myself out of bed. Try to fight the DP thoughts off, but never able too. Then get myself dressed and get to work. Try to concentrate and be happy, but never really able too. Then I have to start dealing with the weirdness of my voice. I have to make phone calls and talk to people in the office. But, I usually avoid people at all costs. I push myself through the day, at times, struggling to stay awake. I then try to push myself to get out at lunch and get some fresh air. Although walking all the way to the front of the office causes the DP to increase. But again, I fight it off.
I then eat my lunch, usually with no appetite and then push through the afternoon. I then push myself to work out and usually go home and stay in my apartment for the rest of the evening. Watch TV or get on the computer.
Right now, I just have no zest for life. No care at all. I just do what I have to do because I am alive. Like someone else posted, I too have lost interest in music. I listen to it still, only because I know in the back of my mind, I still enjoy it.
But honestly, I don't know how much longer I want to continue to push through EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like, what is the point of that? Sure, God gave me a life and I should be thankful of everything I have. But if I don't have the ability to enjoy it and never get excited or happy, then what is the point of living like this. But then, I think of dying and it scares me to death. Trapped inside my own mind!
Sorry for the long reponse. I'm just getting fed up. Take care.
Kelson
I then eat my lunch, usually with no appetite and then push through the afternoon. I then push myself to work out and usually go home and stay in my apartment for the rest of the evening. Watch TV or get on the computer.
Right now, I just have no zest for life. No care at all. I just do what I have to do because I am alive. Like someone else posted, I too have lost interest in music. I listen to it still, only because I know in the back of my mind, I still enjoy it.
But honestly, I don't know how much longer I want to continue to push through EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like, what is the point of that? Sure, God gave me a life and I should be thankful of everything I have. But if I don't have the ability to enjoy it and never get excited or happy, then what is the point of living like this. But then, I think of dying and it scares me to death. Trapped inside my own mind!
Sorry for the long reponse. I'm just getting fed up. Take care.
Kelson
