[pfpc]

DP/DR comes in a variety of flavors, I've noticed, and each one of us has our own little pet symptom that causes us much grief. Mine, by far, is the emotional blunting/apathy that weighs me down like a sack of bricks -- I just don't want to do anything. Apart from doing the bare minimum to get me through the day -- work, gym, etc. -- I won't do anything else. I find little pleasure in reading, watching TV, going out, writing this post.

It's only by sheer force of will that I go through the motions of life, not finding anything particularly rewarding.

Anyone care to share?

 

[maria]

well in my opinion work and gym is already a lot in that state of mind. But yeah, it's been a long time since I've really wanted to do something, so I'm pretty passive all the time. I don't feel guilty about it (the world doesn't miss a lot in me not contributing to it) but I'd like to feel some excitement at least sometimes...but no. It's only thanks to Risperdal I get up at all. So totally relate to your post, apathy is my middle name. How to combat it...I can force myself to do things, but I usually don't since it seems pointless. Being active doesn't seem to do much difference for my mental health but maybe I'm just too impatient. My problem may be that I don't really see a reason to force myself, but now I'm being...apathetic.

 

[stickdude]

yes, it seems as time goes by, i'm more apathetic. it seems as if i don't really care for listening to music anymore and i'm slowly losing interest in everything. i used to just walk to places with my friends, sit around making flash movies on the computer and other things, now it's like all i want to do is lay down and watch tv or sit on the computer.

 

[Kelson12]

I was just about to make a post on this actually...right now I don't care about anything. Basically, each day, I drag myself out of bed. Try to fight the DP thoughts off, but never able too. Then get myself dressed and get to work. Try to concentrate and be happy, but never really able too. Then I have to start dealing with the weirdness of my voice. I have to make phone calls and talk to people in the office. But, I usually avoid people at all costs. I push myself through the day, at times, struggling to stay awake. I then try to push myself to get out at lunch and get some fresh air. Although walking all the way to the front of the office causes the DP to increase. But again, I fight it off.
I then eat my lunch, usually with no appetite and then push through the afternoon. I then push myself to work out and usually go home and stay in my apartment for the rest of the evening. Watch TV or get on the computer.

Right now, I just have no zest for life. No care at all. I just do what I have to do because I am alive. Like someone else posted, I too have lost interest in music. I listen to it still, only because I know in the back of my mind, I still enjoy it.

But honestly, I don't know how much longer I want to continue to push through EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like, what is the point of that? Sure, God gave me a life and I should be thankful of everything I have. But if I don't have the ability to enjoy it and never get excited or happy, then what is the point of living like this. But then, I think of dying and it scares me to death. Trapped inside my own mind!

Sorry for the long reponse. I'm just getting fed up. Take care.

Kelson