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Hi, I'm fairly new to this site but I was hoping maybe someone with the familiar experience like mine can help. This is the only place I'm sure of that can give me some hope right now.

Well, let me start off by saying growing up I had feelings of Dp/Dr every so often if I thought about it, but I was able to snap out of it.

Now here is the story.

It was January 3rd, friends and I were smoking what we thought was just "reggie" so just regular weed, my 2 best friends and I thought it looked much darker than what it usually looks like but we didn't really pay mind to it. We were told it was reggie by a friend we knew, and that's what we stuck to.
We had about a DIME bag of this shit, and smoked it all. Yeah. All of it.

I knew something was wrong when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and I forgot what we were talking about and then I felt as if I was repeating myself over and over just because in my head I knew I wasn't making sense.About an hour went by and thats when shit really hit the fan, my heart was pounding and I just knew things were not the way they should be, and all I could say was "I smoked to much, I'm tripping out". For a person tripping out on synthetic marijuana I think I handled myself pretty well.
The next morning came and I thought I came down from this "high" but later on that day i went out to eat with my mom and I threw up. Now thats not normal.
I was so scared I just thought I was still high.
....
I ended up confessing to my parents, and for having parents in the military and believing they would kick my ass. They were and have been so supportive.
It was a week of this, and even my parents thought it was just some bad weed and eventually it just had to get out of my system. But, after a while I just knew something was wrong, I wasnt myself and I needed help.
I ended up at a mental hospital for about a week, and thats the when I kept hearing the word "spice" and "k2". I almost lost my mind.
Me and my friends had been experimenting with smoking, so I had atleast smoked 7 times before. I thought if something was to be spice, k2, or whatever that I would KNOW it, but sadly, some one we thought we could trust decided to ruin my life. I heard that it affects people differently and that is why my friends didn't get the same effects I had. My friends suffer from depression, anxiety, and so much more. So I thought since their minds are programmed differently than mine, thats why they didnt get the same effects, right?

I'm pretty sure that the synthetic marijuana did something more to me, and that scares me, to feel as if I am really crazy.
I constantly feel like my thoughts don't match what I see visually, that everyone around me is programmed to just live as if everything is fine, and I still have memories and from people that have smoked this crap a lot of them dont have good memories anymore, so I consider myself pretty lucky. But even then, I feel as if I'm making all that up, and that its my minds way of working now. I just feel like everything is fake, and I hate it. I know its not, but my mind is playing tricks on me.

Symptoms I have are:
  • whole body numbness (I can't feel anything) which freaks me out more.
  • Crazy insomnia which allows me to sleep 30 minutes, have a crazy dream, wake up, try to process if im really here or not, and try to sleep again.
  • I'm extremely dizzy, and I feel as though the earth is moving with me when I walk?
  • Extremely detached, depressed, anxious ( i already had anxiety so this made it worse)
  • Heart palpitations
It's been like this for a month, I've been seeing a therapist who is EXTREMELY helpful, and she keeps telling me that things will get better and I will be "normal" again. I honestly hate not knowing when I'll be normal or what to do to make this go away.
I miss having a grasp on reality, and not having to question anything at all. But now, all my mind is filled with nothing but questions..

I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
& I am 15 yrs old, and I just dont want to live life like this.

Any advice on what may help me snap out of this faster?


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Wendy
Feb 09 2014 01:20 PM

Aw no..I'm sorry. That must be really hard.
Ah, don't worry about me, haha.


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Legitlex_
Feb 09 2014 01:21 PM

I really hope that once I recover it won't come back, like ever. I couldn't imagine that.


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Wendy
Feb 09 2014 01:25 PM

I really hope that once I recover it won't come back, like ever. I couldn't imagine that.
All you have to do is make sure you get rid of what caused it and your chances of getting a relapse are fairly low. Even if you do relapse, it's always possible to recover.


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Legitlex_
Feb 09 2014 01:26 PM

How do you know when you really got rid of it though?


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Wendy
Feb 09 2014 01:30 PM

When you get to a point where you're not anxious, depressed, or sad - you're just.. happy. Everything feels real, nothing ever really seems as though it's not and your life doesn't seem to be dictated by what a disorder says.


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Legitlex_
Feb 09 2014 01:32 PM

Well I hope that's really soon.
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Wendy
Feb 09 2014 01:35 PM

Well I hope that's really soon.
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Keep positive and it will be.
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Legitlex_
Feb 09 2014 01:40 PM

Thank you!
Ah, already have a huge headache from all this thinking
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kelly326
Feb 11 2014 09:35 AM

Why did you go into the mental ward for a week? Did it help at all?


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Legitlex_
Feb 11 2014 09:39 AM

I went because I had suicidal thoughts. And not at all. I didn't like it.
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they pretty much would just give us meds.


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TannerMartinez
Mar 10 2014 03:06 AM

Thank you so much for writing this! Me and you are almost the same! I didn't confess to my parents though and it all started from when i tried to smoke marijuana or as my friends told me was reggino.. I think thats how you spell it? Lol. I have been almost a month in feeling the same as the day it first happened if not worse. I just think its weird how this stuff mostly happens from marijuana. I have lung issues and never really thought of doing such a stupid thing but they said nothing would happen... I have so much to say that i cant even write a normal comment haha! All i can say is that we are very in common and i have been looking for someone like you!! Btw i am 14 years old and think i have DP/DR. Please stay in touch with me!! Sorry for any grammar errors!
 
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