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Problem is i talk to myself all the time in the head normally, its just a reflex. So i just notice all the time that it is gone when i try to do that

is it also normal to have no spontanious thoughts and that your head feels empty? I also Feel really stupid
I know what you mean. It feels like your thoughts are being sucked up in a vacuum. Trust me, it is normal with depersonalization. I feel stupid a lot too. Can’t think of thoughts and stuff. Yup
 

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How can this get better? How can i get my inner voice back?
Ok, try this thought experiment.
Just for a few moments at a time, try “end” the chattering. I know you said you have no inner monologue, but im betting there is still mind chatter, even if it feels like it’s invisible to you and your brain. If it feels like a never ending cycle that you are in, then take what I’m saying very seriously. There needs to be less thought and evaluation based on self analysis
 

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Discussion Starter · #24 ·
Ok, try this thought experiment.
Just for a few moments at a time, try “end” the chattering. I know you said you have no inner monologue, but im betting there is still mind chatter, even if it feels like it’s invisible to you and your brain. If it feels like a never ending cycle that you are in, then take what I’m saying very seriously. There needs to be less thought and evaluation based on self analysis
I can hear some chatter, but the problem is that the volume itself is lower. The volume of my inner voice is so low i struggle to hear it.
I want to turn up the volume, but i dont know how
 

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I can hear some chatter, but the problem is that the volume itself is lower. The volume of my inner voice is so low i struggle to hear it.
I want to turn up the volume, but i dont know how
Yes yes, I understand. I do struggle with this too, and I mean that. Infact I’m kinda right there with you. So if you want to turn the volume up and you just can’t- then you are fighting an awareness. You are resisting an awareness in your mind when the challenge arises. A part of the reason the volume is down is because you are aware of the possibility of it being down. Think of it as being “pushed down” So then, there should be no division in your mind from what is and what should be. Let what is become what should be
 

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Discussion Starter · #28 ·
Yes yes, I understand. I do struggle with this too, and I mean that. Infact I’m kinda right there with you. So if you want to turn the volume up and you just can’t- then you are fighting an awareness. You are resisting an awareness in your mind when the challenge arises. A part of the reason the volume is down is because you are aware of the possibility of it being down. Think of it as being “pushed down” So then, there should be no division in your mind from what is and what should be. Let what is become what should be
i am sorry, i am not sure i understand.

what exactly should i do to turn the volume up?
 

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Sorry, i Feel stupid now, but i dont understand what you mean
Dont feel stupid. There is some confusion in you because you have a problem that you are seeking to fix. I think you are trying so hard to “visualize” something in your mind that it is taking away from the voice just being there naturally. Try to find out what it means for the volume to be there
 

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Discussion Starter · #31 ·
Dont feel stupid. There is some confusion in you because you have a problem that you are seeking to fix. I think you are trying so hard to “visualize” something in your mind that it is taking away from the voice just being there naturally. Try to find out what it means for the volume to be there
So what you mean is that i should not try to force it to become louder, but just let it be what it is now, and then it will rise in volume on its own?

is that what you Did to get the voice back to its former volume?
 

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So what you mean is that i should not try to force it to become louder, but just let it be what it is now, and then it will rise in volume on its own?

is that what you Did to get the voice back to its former volume?
Kinda.
See, you’re asking how you can control your own mind. But by asking “how” you are in disorder. Authority does not bring about change
 

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Kinda.
See, you’re asking how you can control your own mind. But by asking “how” you are in disorder. Authority does not bring about change
I agree very much, it was the same for me for many symptoms. For a long time I tried to fight symptoms individually and it only put me in weird states and I don't think it really helped me except for brief bursts that only gave me false hope or impressions of control that ultimately backfired, so actually it never helped for real. I have never had blank mind as a part of DPDR, but I have tried to fight symptoms like my impression of being cut away from the atmosphere in the room, or trying to remove that kind of tainted glass that was between me and the world, I had made up my own perception exercises to work on these things and I had put a lot of (too much) energy into it. But I agree, for me this was fed by the impression that my mind would eventually be able to control these things, like my "over" thinking would ultimately be what would protect me from different things in the world. And ironically I used that thinking/control thing to try to protect me from the symptoms of DPDR, which were probably at least partially caused by that very way of thinking, although I suppose it could be more complicated than that too.
 

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I agree very much, it was the same for me for many symptoms. For a long time I tried to fight symptoms individually and it only put me in weird states and I don't think it really helped me except for brief bursts that only gave me false hope or impressions of control that ultimately backfired, so actually it never helped for real. I have never had blank mind as a part of DPDR, but I have tried to fight symptoms like my impression of being cut away from the atmosphere in the room, or trying to remove that kind of tainted glass that was between me and the world, I had made up my own perception exercises to work on these things and I had put a lot of (too much) energy into it. But I agree, for me this was fed by the impression that my mind would eventually be able to control these things, like my "over" thinking would ultimately be what would protect me from different things in the world. And ironically I used that thinking/control thing to try to protect me from the symptoms of DPDR, which were probably at least partially caused by that very way of thinking, although I suppose it could be more complicated than that too.
Yes. Once control or the possibility of control comes into the picture, then there is a decision to be made. A path to pick. And with that there is uncertainty on “which way to go”. But looking at it as a matter of having no control as an idea is not the same as having no control. By having no control I mean having no preconceived idea of the “goal”, which is a projection of thought into what should be (in the future). Change happens now or never, as an existential fact. People are confused because they think something has to happen within time. I don’t mean time in a literal sense, but as a movement in the mind
 

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Yes. Once control or the possibility of control comes into the picture, then there is a decision to be made. A path to pick. And with that there is uncertainty on “which way to go”. But looking at it as a matter of having no control as an idea is not the same as having no control. By having no control I mean having no preconceived idea of the “goal”, which is a projection of thought into what should be (in the future). Change happens now or never, as an existential fact. People are confused because they think something has to happen within time. I don’t mean time in a literal sense, but as a movement in the mind
I'm not sure I get it, but I agree that "trying to let go", or "trying to accept not having control", can paradoxically also become just a trick to gain control in a certain sense, if this is what you mean.
 

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I'm not sure I get it, but I agree that "trying to let go", or "trying to accept not having control", can paradoxically also become just a trick to gain control in a certain sense, if this is what you mean.
I don’t think it would give any real sense of anything but more confusion. If you are “trying to let go” do you know what you are letting go of? If it is letting go of control then is there an expected result at the end of the ritual? Or method?
edit: I’ll try explain a little better.
First, you see yourself as not having something that you want. Say it is your thoughts that aren’t good enough
So, you identified a problem and now seek a solution. You find that you need to “let go”. So you do whatever that means to you. Sitting in a position and doing deep breathing exercises, or doing a ritual in your mind. All of it implies effort. You will have setup a ritual where the idea becomes the solution. Where there is a time interval between what is and what should be. You projected a goal into the future when change happens only right now. This means there has to be movement with no awareness of it
 

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I cant visualize anything anymore. Over the past four weeks my ability has disappeared. I have also lost my inner monologue. If i want to hear my thoughts i have to physically talk out loud.

I also struggle with total loss of emotions!

Anyone have this and recover?
I’m a graphic designer (or was) so i totally know what you mean about loss of visualization. The good news: it has come back for me on occasion. Just yesterday i was asked how to spell a word and I visualized it in my head to see if the word “looked right” before spelling it out loud.

It seems so small but i haven’t been able to do that at will for years now. (I started doing daily chess puzzles and wordle and it seems to be helping me.)
 
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