Ever since I had what I think is depersonalisation Every time I speak to people it physically hurts my head to speak like I can’t find the words because my mind is completely blank and the words that come Out seem wrong like I wouldn’t normally say them and I it’s wierd I just don’t feel real at all , just feels terrible like I got disorganised skizophrenia or. Brain damage or dementia because words seem weird and not like me and I don’t feel like there coming from me at all just happening automatic without a choice how is tha possible … ….. and I can’t leave my house to walk anymore because it’s like my head is so blank it’s like my head doesn’t no we’re to go and doesn’t walk on auto pilot it’s like I’m thinking about every step and end up not being able to move anywhere .. I’m now struggling to get drinks and move around my house and have shower I can physically still do it but it’s like it takes a lot of brain power instead of being automatic and easy because my brain is completely blank And that even isn’t being over exaggerative it’s completely silent like I’m brain dead everything really feels fake and I feel like what’s the point because nothings real even writing on this forum don’t feel real and it’s literally making me disabled and unable to function this is horrendous and painful living is painful just want it to go away we’re life would just flow and my brain would be filled with thoughts and me not even think about speaking or moving and just know how to act and everything just happen automatic feels like I’ve broke my brain to the point of over thinking every action I’ve broke the actual process and sense of self , like I don’t know who I am or what I like doing anymore it’s just like I’m alive but I’m dead … it’s fucking unbearable just doesn’t feel like the same life ???? How is tha possible feels like I’ve lost a part of my brain that can think plan , visualise , and have thoughts and let me feel connected to every action I do , like I literally can’t leave my house or make a plan without somone planning it for me or being there like there thinking for me if that makes sense ??