anyone have that attitude? and jelousey

anyone feel like they just dont give a shit about everything.. everything that ur spose to do in life is soo hard. im 20 ive had it for 6 odd years and i fucking hate alot of stuff, when i see people really happy i hate them.. i know its not real etc but when i see see on tv when everyone is really happy all i ever say is cunts, cant stand all these shallow pricks, basically i hate to see people really happy. Im the nicest person ever i never did anything wrong to anyone and i feel sooo done over, im sure thats how alot of people with dp feel, cus u can only get dp if ur that sorta person. oh i dont know im soo outa it i dont know where ive been in the last 2 months i dont even really remeber it, i dont get anxeity soo why is it still here? i thought this was an anxeity disorder, basically all i wanna say is fuck everything noone understands me im stuck in this completely fucked up world. i know i have such a nice personality but where the fuck has it gone im nothing at the mo.... theres not much i expect people to say back to this, but i cant rant on like this to anyone else .. soo im just realiseing what i feel .. i know u guys know what im feeling ... how long can i take it, thats the prob ....i hate everything.. jamie