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I've had dp for the past 3 years (started sophomore year in college and I just graduated). I have no idea how I managed to graduate, let alone read enough of my assigned texts to pass my classes. Imagine taking "Philosophy of Language and Mind" at Columbia just when your symptoms are most acute!! HA HA HA!!!!!!
Ahem. Anyhow, I find reading extremely difficult, still, even though I'm not nearly as depersonalized as I was back then, when I suffered from delusions of reference. I would read something and it would automatically be about me, or I would read something and every other line (at least) that I read would frustrate me so much because I would add layers of meaning that were not there. Today it seems that after everything I read, I go, "Oh, I was just thinking that," or "I was thinking about writing about that" and wind up getting very paranoid or frustrated.
I do not enjoy reading at all. It is scary. I carry books around all the time, and I really, really want to read, but I am horrified, straight up horrified. My mind starts bubbling when I even look at books.
Has anyone else felt this way? How did you manage? I really want to read again :'(
Ahem. Anyhow, I find reading extremely difficult, still, even though I'm not nearly as depersonalized as I was back then, when I suffered from delusions of reference. I would read something and it would automatically be about me, or I would read something and every other line (at least) that I read would frustrate me so much because I would add layers of meaning that were not there. Today it seems that after everything I read, I go, "Oh, I was just thinking that," or "I was thinking about writing about that" and wind up getting very paranoid or frustrated.
I do not enjoy reading at all. It is scary. I carry books around all the time, and I really, really want to read, but I am horrified, straight up horrified. My mind starts bubbling when I even look at books.
Has anyone else felt this way? How did you manage? I really want to read again :'(
