c xxxx :lol:My doc a few years back suggested to me that I had a ptsd event years ago. This surprized me because I had always thought of ptsd as Dreamer referred to it. The event was so wierd and so univolved, but devastated me for years, the first few months being a 24/7 horror experience with little sleep. This is the wierd part, it came from watching a tv docudrama about a German Concentration Camp and one scene had to do with a torture of a sexual nature. I cannot fully describe the panic and horror that occured instantaneously and never left my consciousness for months. Life was unreal and I was so absorbed in this event that I felt detached from all I did as a daily routine. I was literaly paralyzed. I was 13 years old and my life changed after that night. The guilt was overwhelming. Whenever anything associated with the event hit me (for years) I would lose all blood in my face and hands and be cold. I mean, go figure, having this happen over a tv show. I still 40 years later have avoidance issues over that subject. Why the doc called this ptsd I do not know. All I know is that I was never the same after that, it was only a year later when other anxiety issues hit me like a freightrain, including social phobia, GAD, and ever increasing ocd, then dp/dr when I was 20. What is even stranger is that I have indeed had events occur for me that could easily have resulted in ptsd for others but they did not affect me like a frigging tv show.
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