I think I asked this too to see if others wish they could get back to breathing in and breathing out and really living instead of an almost "I can only hold my breath for so long and make it through a siuation" feeling. Damnit I just wanna live! I have to assume lots feel this way, the wish to be "normal" or "back to old self". I've read it here alot. I do try to recall times I was going along well and felt strong. I don't do it to try to turn back the clock I do it to remind me that there have been times I was not like this and that I can be that way agian. And possibly even further down the road this time in my understanding and coping with DP etc.. I wanna stare it down and watch it wither to dust, and be very kind to myself. And have fun again. All that stuff.