I posted this as a reply to one of your posts the other day but I dunno if you saw it, I figure I'll whack it in a main topic see if you see it, I really respect your posts from what I have read Janine and would really appreciate if you or ANYBODY else really has any thoughts on this, I just dont know what to think even myself at the moment.
here it is..
"I am just so damn confused about DP/DR I am sure I have not got DP because I feel fairly fine, its my vision that's messed up, edges seem less defined, I tried to describe it to my Neurologist and he just said he has not heard anybody describe that kind of vision before, I don't know if I have DP/DR at all anymore, I THOUGHT I had DR, maybe the rush of adrenaline fried my Brain that once, but I keep trying to explain to people the moment this happened, it happened, and stayed.
I am told it cannot be double vision because double vision is a result of both eyes looking in different directions, things look the same for me if I cover one of my eyes, this rules out double vision completely, plus my co-ordination is still superb.
I wish I could describe how things look to such a perfect extent so as somebody could say YES that's DR dont worry it can return to normal if you ignore it/get on with your life etc etc, or NO that's NOT DR go get a better Neurologist before your Brain Tumor gets out of control.
I am damned so mad that I have tried for weeks and weeks doctor after doctor after optician to Neurologist and not one F**KER can tell me WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY VISION!
All I get is "both your eyes are healthy" "no signs of Neurological Trauma" (well I am still awaiting my CT scan that the Neurologist was so reluctant to give me, gonna be ages coz he said it was NON-urgent) BUT I CANT SEE PROPERLY ANYMORE!!!!!!!
I had a load of pressure in my head come on the other evening, and I started to panic, it was not a panic attack because it LASTED steadily, the pressure was there and I was really worried and stressed about it and went to hospital because I thought my Brain tumor or cerebral edema was finally peaking towards my final death, doctor took my blood pressure and it was 162/82 which was high and he said I needed to start Medication for high blood pressure, I don't think he realised how stressed I was at the time he took it, I have been having it monitored 5 - 6 times a day because I wanted to be sure that I have "HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE" before I am condemned to medication for the rest of my what was very athletic and active YOUNG life (I am only 30 for fux sake) the following few days I had several readings of 110/60 and 120/78 etc etc etc after the gym it was 146/78 and it is sometimes 130/70 it varies really but the only time it has hit high since then was when I was in my neurologists office the other day and it hit 150/80 so maybe the doctor, should have instead of making me think I am buggered and have high BP, entertained the thought I have high BP AT THAT TIME because I am FREAKING STRESSED ALL TO HELL!
the fact remains nobody seems to be able to find out what is wrong with me and I am getting sick of trying to figure out what is wrong with me myself, the closest thing I can think of IS that time, when this first happened, when I got really stressed, I felt a rush of adrenaline/blood or whatever to my head, kind of, it was like a really stressful moment, and then BANG that was it, since then, I have seen like this, surreal and less defined edges, fuzzy kind of, the stand by light on my TV is no longer a nice clear dot, its kind of fuzzy and unclear, despite my eyes having no problems with focus and good eye sight, so explanation? I had an attack of high blood pressure and had a stroke, hence my brain feeling f--- since, I fried it.
I am really unhappy to be honest.
I guess the CT scan will pick up if I had a stroke, or if there is something else nasty going on in there, I just cant see how "DR" can make my vision like this, I can sure understand it having a feeling of surreal, because that's a sensible defence mechanism for somebody who is really stressed/worried allot to protect them in a way, but that fact is along with the dream-like state, which I swear I barely notice anymore because I cant remember what it was like before, is this damn VISION thing. and the fact it came and STAYED, not like DR which comes when people have bloody panic attacks! and I only started panicking and worrying SO MUCH about whats wrong with me SINCE the symptoms came (the feeling of surreal and kind of weird vision) it was AFTER that.
since my BP gets so high when I get so stressed, it was surely some sort of stroke.