[bat]

i've held off saying this for a while because i haven't read any threads where anyone's mentioned it (in fact alot of time the opposite) but i wonder if anyone else has had the same.

since i had my initial dp episode alot of the time i find it unbearable to listen to some music. i've always been talented musically, playing the cello and singing mostly, and before dp i basically lived on it. i find that when i listen to a piece of music i like (stuff that doesn't touch me emotionally doesn't have any effect) that the emotions that i use to feel of sadness and beauty intertwined are magnified to awful proportions. even through times of relative normality it still has the ability to throw me into despair. i find myself measuring my recovery by my ability to listen to music.

any thoughts would be appreciated

 

[Guest]

i think there was a thread like this layin around somewhere

 

[jft]

I know what you mean I think. In fact I rarely lesten to music becasue of it. What nails me worst is "beautiful" music, stuff that makes other folks feel deeply, It only makes me feel changed up inside. Music that hits sad or nostaligic overtones despairs me. Same with exit music at a movie...the type where they want you to walk out feeling impacted by the movie. It is hard to describe, but it is as if emotive music used to inspire people makes me want to daydream or even to jsut dismiss it and drink a beer. I cannot handle "happy sad" melodies. I have often wondered why this is, and it only has occured to me on this scale after onset of dp/dr, and while actively doing recreational drugs.
jft

 

[Guest]

I get it too.. does this mean i should stop doing drugs?.. you'd better not say yes.

eDfGr33n
"i like punk rock because it seems real to me."

 

[Guest]

drugs are bad mmmkay ?

 

[kenc127]

hmm, I had this too. It faded over the first few months after the breakdown. Music was simply too intense for me. Even if it was a mellow song, I couldn't handle it. I would be driving in the car listening to a song, and then I'd want to cry. It didn't make sense then, and it still doesn't now.

 

[sebastian]

I had this for a bit, but i grew out of it as the dp lessened. While i'm not totally dp-free at this point, this doesn't bother me anymore.

One thing that does though, and tell me if any of you have felt this...is that...hmm, how do i explain this...it's quite odd actually...

Ok. When i play the piano, it's almost like i get locked into certain memories or feelings or something when i play a certain series of notes. God, that sounds loopy. I mean, it isn't like regular nostalgia or anything like that. Like, i'll be playing something and think of the exact same thing every time i play it...almost as if there's a story to go along with the piece, which runs parallel to it through space/time.

Yeah, that sounds really loopy. It's almost impossibly hard to describe, and i only seem to experience it when i'm REALLY into the music, playing the same thing over and over again, or when i've been practicing for hours on end. It freaks me out sometimes because i'm thinking..."Whoa, what the hell am i thinking...why am i associating this music with this story or feeling..."

All right, this probably makes no sense at all to any of you, but there it is just the same.

s.