[violetmc]

i work as a assistant at a preschool/daycare center. At work especially I get anxiety around coworkers that displaces me to so deep in my thoughts I'm not even present, whenever i make any little mistake or start thinking someone doesn't like me or thinks i am stupid, i am stuck in this position of dwelling on it and replaying the situation trying to figure out where my mind was when i made the mistake or said the wrong thing, trying to decide if my coworker really thinks I'm inadequate, and then i am so displaced from the moment that i stop paying attention, and being around kids you really need to be good at paying attention, watching for safety issues etc.

I find myself spacing out and (don't even know the word for what I do, replaying?) these moments that happened because something I can't seem to help can't stand it when I do anything wrong no matter how little it is, and somehow I get back to reality by convincing myself I wasn't fully present when I made the mistake, so it wasn't really me who did it. I can't just shake off a mistake and move on in the moment like "normal," it seems like. I am so absorbed in my mind/racing thoughts/worries that I just go further away from reality.

advice? how to be better at a job that can be challenging but not completely dissolve my presence when I do make a mistake?

 

[Phantasm]

I often say that self-esteem is central to mental health, and this does sound like it's about confidence. I'm sure you're really good at your job. It's that self-questioning that tires us out. It's okay to make mistakes, without them we can't get any better at anything. You don't hit a bulls-eye with the first dart. It's how we learn so cut yourself some slack. No-one you work with is perfect, that's a cert!

 

[violetmc]

I often say that self-esteem is central to mental health, and this does sound like it's about confidence. I'm sure you're really good at your job. It's that self-questioning that tires us out. It's okay to make mistakes, without them we can't get any better at anything. You don't hit a bulls-eye with the first dart. It's how we learn so cut yourself some slack. No-one you work with is perfect, that's a cert!

thank you, thats good advice. theres the whole "fake it till you make it" thing about self-esteem/confidence that i want to aim for. sometimes it can be difficult to be present enough in the moment to consciously decide that I'm at the very least "fake" confident enough to make a decision without any random anxiety coming up about it.

 

[Luke1414]

Make sure when you are at home or on a break you aren't dwelling on work-related issues. If you want to get out of dp you have to stop feeding anxiety to it so chilling out at home will work wonders. I find that green tea helps me.