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Okay, so this is going to sound really weird but here goes:

I've had dp for little over a year now. At first it started with one or two panic attacks and then evolved into brain fog and some memory loss. For the first 4 months I had no real problems. Yeah, the fog was annoying but it didn't stop me from living my life. It wasn't until I started Zyprexa that I had any issues.

Now I'm sure Zyprexa is a great drug and has helped plenty of people, but for me it was the beginning of the end. For the first month I was on it I was fine. It was a bit sedating but I got used to it. I had no panic attacks. I actually felt rested and refreshed. But then I run out right when my doctor goes out of town, so I had to wait 2 days to get it refilled. Not a big deal. Just take one when you get it. No harm done. I was so wrong...

When I took the Zyprexa I collapsed and slept 13 hours. When I awoke, my anxiety was through the roof and I had a massive headache. This didn't go away. For 2 weeks my brain fog was so bad I couldn't do anything. Finally, I checked myself into a hospital and they got me on some meds.

For awhile it got better. The combo of meds I was on was working. The only problem was I was still having trouble sleeping. And I began to notice the less sleep I got the worst the dp was. So I decided to ask my psychiatrist if there was anything we could do about it.

So he started me on Seroquel. Which for a while I did great on. My sleep was good, my mood was mellow. I felt wonderful. I was on it for about three months until my doc moved forcing me to have to get a new psych. While in between docs I ran out of Seroquel. Fortunately, I was able to get an appointment at a local clinic where they wrote me a refill. I had only gone maybe 4 days without it so I decided I'd just take it when I got home. And BAM! It happened again. The exact same way as before. But this time the anxiety was much worse.

So now I'm in a really bad state. I feel brain dead. Like nothing up there is functioning. Can't work, can't talk to anyone. I can't even follow a TV show. I'm so anxious I can't even go outside. Could the antipsychotics have seriously fucked something up? And if so, what? I've never heard of this happening to anyone and neither have any of the doctors I've talked to. They all think I'm full of shit. But I know its the antipsychotics that have done this to me. I wish I'd never touched the stuff. They're dangerous drugs.

The sooner you stop taking shit like that, the sooner you'll feel better.

See.. the thing is. Psychiatrists spend 2 years studying pharmacology and it plays a big part in their mode of treatment. If you choose to see a psychiatrist, most likely they'll put you on meds b/c that's how they've been trained to operate. Their knowledge base for the dissociative disorders is generally very low. So there's a real discrepancy here.. they prescribe meds for a condition they don't know much about, let alone how meds react with dissociative patients.. and they're not answerable. They don't take responsibility for their failures. They don't need to. If their treatment isn't working all they have to do is switch meds. Which, as we know, is what they do! Like it's some kind of game.

Of course you can say.. "Philos, you're full of shit!".. Ok whatever. But I can assure you, one day, someone is gonna do the research on 'the wellbeing of dissociative people and the use of pharmaceutical medication'.. and we'll see pretty much what we see on this forum. Success rate of recovery on meds.. very low! General wellbeing and functionality of these patients? Very low also.
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