It was far more gradual for me when i recovered (and stayed recovered for a few years). It isn't a miraculous wake-up-in-the-morning Yabbadabbadoo! It's more like you gradually integrate yourself back into relationships, your work, activities, your life, etc. Eventually it gets to a point where you seriously wondered how all this dp nonsense could ever have effected you and you're slightly saddened to realize that you wasted so much of your life brooding over something so silly.
^ nailed it. Right now I'm working on the motivation thing! Now that I'm not focusing on the DP/DR I suddenly noticed that I'm running out of money and need to make some. So know I'm trying to get motivated and in shape.
Baby steps...When the DP started to life off me it felt like I was more in control....
It's like pushing a boulder, once you get it moving it's easier to push..but if you stop pushing the boulder, it's hard to get it moving again. Kinda like that.
I didn't remember a "first day" as such. But there were a few occasions where it suddenly struck me how much it had subsided. Once you're on the road to recovery you tend not to pay attention to it so much.
I have days off and on that are DR free. The thing is I would say the first day I realized I was DR free I didnt realize it at first. I was anxious and jittery and freaked as usual. As the day wore on I got calmer and calmer and began to feel ok .. and I think it wasnt till probably the following day or so that I realized it was gone. That is what made me realize I am ok and I can make it. Cuz you know what... comming out made me feel.... like me... by which I mean a worry free me. Not the me that we all seem to search for the me that was always there and I couldnt let out because I couldnt calm myself.
It will come naturally, the DR/DP free day and your sense of self if you let it. ...
well, I dont have DP so I cant really speak for that.
I'm not totally recovered, but from a chronic, say, 80% DR for 18 years im now down to around 30%.
I clearly remember the moment my DR turned. It didn't go from 80 to 30 in a day, far from it, but it dipped down to a level i hadn't experienced in 18 years. Suddenly i sort of figured out what i did wront to feed this beast. This is now a year ago, and my DR gets better by the month.
The chronic 100% DP condition gradually faded away with me also over the period of a year, but I can remember the exact instant when my DP panic attacks were blocked.
That was when I realized that the DP type of panic disorder is biological, but the only way you can know this is to experience it yourself.
Up until then, I thought this condition was 100% psychological, and I never would have thought otherwise had I not experienced my panic attacks being blocked, simply by raising the dosage of my AD- imipramine.
My chronic low level DP was much more gradual in fading away.
I have had days where I seriously question my dr and I think wtf is that shit. But that was before I was in a car accident and bad concussion, which made my memory horrible for a week. Scary.
But I fetlt as if I was on the right track before my accident and I wish it didnt take place because I really thought I was going all the way! RIght now I am getting to where I was a month ago (before the accident) but its slowly getting there again.
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