I️ keep signing off but end up right back on here. I️ don’t think it’s good for me to be on here, If your on here your thinking about it ( even though I️ think about it anyways ). I️ hate my mind. I️ only posted for 10 days the last time I️ had this and it only lasted a month which was probably just a huge coincidence or wasn’t as scared as I️ am this time idk. Anyways also this time around having this I️ am 3 weeks in and I’m so effing angry. I️ can’t do this again, I️ don’t deserve to live like this again or have this fear. I️ don’t deserve to have my amazing life ripped away from me giving me no choice but to want to die once my baby is born. I’m angry no one understands me, family or doctors. I’m angry there are no answers or cure. I’m angry this isn’t getting better and my medication is not kicking in and working like last time. I’m angry that I️ don’t know how long it will last. Im angry this is happening to me, AGAIN. I’m angry everyone around me doesn’t feel like this. Im angry I️ can’t leave my house. I’m angry my eyes are so tired all of the time and I️ can’t connect with the world. I’m angry and I’m sad and I’m scared and tired of fighting this fight.