Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i really can't take it anymore. it's like i forgot how to just be a human being. there's a madness loop that just goes in circles.
dude. i'm honestly just barely making it. life only exists of pain and torture. i used to like doing a lot of things. but when the dpd got so severe i can't even function and lost interest in life completely. i just don't see myself getting out of this situation.keep holding on Birdiehead! How are you getting through the days? Anything you like doing? I know this whole situation is insane, but I understand everything you are going through buddy.
what's the point in living if you can never feel anything for the rest of you life?dude. i'm honestly just barely making it. life only exists of pain and torture. i used to like doing a lot of things. but when the dpd got so severe i can't even function and lost interest in life completely. i just don't see myself getting out of this situation.
thanks phoenix. you're a very compassionate person. you should be proud of that quality. i look forward to therapy because i see it as a safe place where i can say anything. alcohol does help but my therapist knows i'm an alcoholic and rides my ass on it hard and when i try to lie i know she can tell. and i don't wanna lie about it anyway. i bought a motorcycle but it doesn't really do much for me because my mind is always circling about dpd. and when i'm with friends i never feel there. just going through the motions. but hey man, i'm still here and i'm trying!!!! i appreciate all your kind words. i'm gona go take a walk. thanks for the motivation. take care and maybe we'll talk more later. birdieheadI'm just trying to brainstorm some ideas (they apply to my own situation as much as they do yours). I think you need to build some hope, even if it is based on essentially nothing. I know you mentioned you lived with dp at an acceptable level for a long time, so even if you may not be cured you have the chance of returning to that more livable level. I don't think you can make the assumption that you will never get better. There is a possibility, and it only increases the longer you trudge through this muck. Furthermore, I sense in the next 5-10 years, especially with all of these DP stories emerging on the net, there may be a serious push for an answer.
In the meantime, is there anything you can escape into that will minimize your pain? Is there anything useful to build hope. I've started buying lottery tickets once a week, just as a ritual. I understand the chances are next to none that I'll win, but I figure I hit some bad luck when I got DP... so maybe things will balance themselves out, lol. Actually I don't even care about winning, but when I check the numbers it actually takes me out of my mind briefly. I dunno, maybe try some risk-taking.. call up old friends / lovers. Write an article in your local newspaper about DP. Go get shitwrecked at a bar and try to escape briefly even if you feel like the end of the world the next day. Go take Ayahuasca with Abraxas, lol. Do something scary. You really have nothing to lose.
I dunno. I wish I could just take away your suffering. It's what I wish for everyone on this site. Just keep some hope, no matter how small.
don't worry. i feel the exact same way, and it makes me feel guilty. the only emotions i feel are anxiety, sadness and guilt.i really can't take it anymore. it's like i forgot how to just be a human being. there's a madness loop that just goes in circles.
yeah drinking codein, listening to migos (rip takeoff) and gamblingIn the meantime, is there anything you can escape into that will minimize your pain?