Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
68 Posts
I'm sorry this is so long, but I needed to explain a lot. I tried to write this as best as I can so if they're mistakes, or if there are parts you don't understand, please tell me in the comments.
I must admit, I overreact a lot. There was once a time I thought I was pregnant (even though I didn't have sex).

It started when I got surprised. When I mean surprised, I mean like seeing Justin-Bieber-in-person surprised. You know how you feel after something like that happens. Kind of dreamy - right? You wonder if that really happened or not. Well usually, that feeling goes away a few seconds later and reality comes back but since I kept worrying about that feeling (I usually don't!), it stayed for a while. I literally felt like I was in the middle of a dream, even though I knew it wasn't. I wondered why I was there for a second. When I calmed down, the feeling mostly went away, yet I still was worried. But then later, the feeling would come back. It seems to happen every time I revisit the same place it happened the first time. It's like the place triggers something in my brain to make me worry, if you know what I mean. It happens in other places too, mostly when I'm out of my house. It makes me wanna stay home all the time. Oh, and every time after the feeling happens, I struggle to remember what was happened before the incident the same day, as if I just woke up.

I'd feel tired throughout the day, like I wanna go to bed, and when I do get to go to bed, I can't sleep very well. It makes me I start worrying about things in my sleep, then I'd wake up realizing those things weren't true. I'd be like, Oh my gosh! My report is due tomorrow! I haven't even started! Oh no! What do I do? I'm gonna fail!! No! but then I'd wake up and realize that that wasn't even real. There was no report due. At some point, I'd kept losing my appetite, I wouldn't feel like eating. I start to stress out so much that I have a mild headache that's goes on for days. My feelings have also changed. I'm not as excited for the things I used to be excited for. I feel as if I'm a different person. It feels like that's the only thing that's on my mind all day. Sometimes I don't think I'm in control of what I do. On the outside, I talk and act just like I normally would, but inside, it doesn't feel like that. When I get my mind off of it I'm okay but the moment I start to think about it again I freak out. I think about it so much that I start to pay attention and worry about things going on around me. Like sometimes I'll think I don't recognize my voice, or things around me and I think that what people say is weird. For instance, it sounds like something someone said was unusual, so I start trying to think about it deeply, and when I don't get it, I start to worry and freak. Once, I couldn't remember something, so I thought about it. When I couldn't figure it out, it frustrated me really bad. Another time, I thought I was losing my hearing! It's probably just me, but I also can't focus really well. It feels like my memory is a bit mixed up and I can't think as good as I used to. Sometimes it's hard for me to sort out what day it is or how many days have passed by since a certain time. I always worry about the time going by. I worry about what events that have happened. I think to myself things such as, Wait a minute. Is it Monday? Already? Oh yeah, it is. But... that means it's been a week since I visited the mall. But it's only felt like a few days ago! Why is time going by so fast! And I start freaking out again. Just like right now, I stopped and wondering, Wait a minute, what am I doing right now? It doesn't feel like I'm doing this. How did I get to this again? Sometimes it feels like time's going by too fast, sometimes it feels like time's going by too slow. I would eating dinner for 20 minutes, but it'd feel like hours! I'm very young and I don't want to be worrying and stressing out like this. It's not good for my health! Is there something wrong with me? Am I making myself feel this way? What should I do? Do I need to tell myself to relax and stop worrying?


10.jpg

outsideobserver
May 28 2014 10:15 AM

The biggest symptom, and arguably what causes DPD in the first place, is the constant rumination that comes with it. You could argue whether it's the cause or the effect, but one thing's for sure- it worsens the condition. That seems to be what's going on here. One way to feel better or at least cope with the unpleasant feeling is to stop the self scrutinization. I know it's hard, trust me. If you can't do this on your own, try filling your day with positive distractions. Do you have any hobbies or activities that you remember really enjoying before the condition striked? Do things that make you feel like the old you- things that you genuinely enjoy. This may not permanantly cure or fix anything, but it's definitely helpful. When it does happen, try to think of it as an altered perception and nothing more. Don't freak out and worry that you're crazy, because that just makes it worse. Most of all, stay hopeful! i hope this helps
smile.png



default_large.png

SkittleRainbows
May 28 2014 06:08 PM

Yes I know. It is very hard to try to stop worrying. I'm afraid that it I do, I'll go crazy and lose my mind. It's really hard to explain. I hope you understand what I mean. Thanks for the advice! Oh, and I'd also like you to know that my vision is just fine. It's not foggy. It feels like it's mostly in the head.
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top