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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I've gone back and forth about this for the whole time I've had this. Searching for reassurance that I am not alone in my symptoms. But I just don't know anymore. I don't know if I just have high anxiety and mild dp but it feels like it's way worse! I know they are related and it's complicated but I just can get it to make sense.
I've never had any childhood trauma. Somehow I have ocd now (not officially diagnosed, but it's the closest thing to how I feel and think) when I don't remember ever having it before the night I had a thc drink. I've gone over it looking for any sign as to why I feel and think the way I do. I could just be my brain and just the way I am. I've never had anxiety and I can't relate to a lot of people on here. So why am I suffering so much if it's a mild case? Why do I feel like everything I've ever thought about myself is a lie. Why do I have fears and worries about being triggered by the smallest thing? And being afraid of my own thoughts? I can't eat, I can't sleep. I still manage to work my job. Is that a good sign? There's just no telling when this hell will end. Should I take meds or will they make me worse? I feel like I know I'm in reality. My body feels like mine. My symptoms are the other parts of dp like intrusive thoughts and light sensitivity and feeling of just being off. My concern now is having this anxiety so high for so long that the real dp hell will start to settle in and I'll never get out of this. Did I trigger ocd with a drug? Have I always had anxiety even though I've never had a symptom before? So many questions with little no answers.
Sometimes I feel like this forum is such a help to me because I get relief talking to people but I think I've made myself worse because I can't stop thinking about it or reading about it. Ok I guess that's it for now. Thanks for reading.
 
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