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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I thought I had come out of DP today, but I have been feeling really nervous and anxious which has made me sweat a lot more and even given me diarrihea (if that is how you spell it). I don't think I am DP'd still, yet I don't feel like happy me. I am not sure to tell you the truth whether it is a bit of depression that is left since the DP is gone or whether I am just beating myself up and torturing myself. There is no answer as to who I am. I know I have been lots happier than this, but I don't know if I am still unwell or whether I am just doing it to myself. I just don't feel right somehow. I had DP for 16 weeks.

Any ideas??

Mip
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
no.

It was the illness and trauma of my cat dying that caused the DP to kick in. When I am my normal self, no I don't suffer from anxiety.

I seem to be stuck in my head somehow. But it doesn't feel like DP, I have lost my appetite, I am restless and want to keep going to toilet.

I don't know what is wrong with me, I can't relax and the issue of my identity still bothers me somewhat.

Mip
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Well in thaty case this might be the last few ripples of the DP going, after all i guess you mind has experienced a break in its traditional reality so its going to take some time to readjust to being 'normal' again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I was beginning to wonder that. Whether it is the last remants of DP. Cos I have suffered with DP on and off for 11 years, and I know when it goes, I am happy and joyful and there are no nerves or apprehension, so perhaps I am not quite out of the woods yet????

Mip
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
but I am normally so happy when the DP is gone, delighted, not nervous and apprehensive and off my food, that is why I was thinking perhaps it hasn't quite gone yet, or perhaps it is a bit of depression, I am not sure.

I am quite confused by it all actually!!

Mip
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Mipmunk

I too am off my food, and feel like you have described here and in other post, not as stuck inside yourself, but not feeling like normal self, sort of like inbetween. Think there is some sort of bug going round , cause been feeling quite sick too, its easy to forget these physical illness things we can pick up when focusing on our inner- selves all the time

:)

xx
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think it still must be the DP, because when DP is gone there is no anxiety or nervousness and I feel great. Who am I still bothers me so my full identity and sense of self can't be fully back yet?

Mip
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What does your full identify feel like when you feel good? How is that different from how you feel now?

What does your sense of self feel like? How is that different from how you feel now?
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
When I have my full identity and feel really connected, I feel like the person looking back at me in the mirror. The issue as to who I am doesn't matter, it doesn't really mean anything. When I have my full identity I feel like "me" I want to go on holiday and have fun and feel like the "real" me. At the moment I feel like a person but not the one looking back at me in the mirror. Saying that when I came out of work I connected a bit more with myself. I seem to feel more connected and more like "me" when I come out of work.

I write a journal everyday and I got really cross with myself just now, and wrote lots of swear words in the book, basically explaining that I have got to get better and feel like "me" again and that this DP/who am I has got to stop. I have been unwell for nearly 4 months, and I got a bit angry with myself. It is like I want someone to slap me around my face to try and snap me out of this.

At times I am unsure whether I am still DP'd or whether I am just torturing myself asking who I am when there is no answer...

Mip
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Where did you get the notion that you can force feelings? I'm referring to your yelling at yourself in your journal. Why are you so hard on yourself? Don't you have any compassion for your own suffering? Don't beat yourself up. Did your parents emotionally beat you up like this? Who modelled that behavior for you? You are making yourself sicker when you do that.

You must get help; if you could do it on your own, you would have by now.

I don't care how much it costs you -- get therapy!

Find a therapist in your area who can help you discover your inner feelings in a way that will actually benefit you:

http://www.apsa.org/members/olroster.htm
http://www.psychoanalysis.org.uk/uklist.htm
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
well the man I am seeing once a week (well not at the moment he is on holiday) has this on his letter head.

Frank Wills MA CQSW Dip Counselling, Oxford cert in Cognitive Therapy, Accredited Counsellor, British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Accredited Cognitive Psychotherapist, British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies.
UKCP Registered Cognitive Psychotherapist.
Fellow of the British Assocation for Counselling and Psychotherapy

I thought he seemed qualified enough to me?? I am seeing him again on 6 September when he returns from holiday.

My parents were always loving to me, never got abused or hurt by them as a child. I think the anger is pure frustration at myself, desperately wanting to feel like "me" again.

When my cat died the DP clicked in to protect me, and it hasn't turned off yet and I am unsure why.

Saying that this evening is the most normal I have felt in 16 weeks, I feel completely different to what I did at work today. I always seem to feel better once I get home?....

Let me know what you think about my therapist, Frank Wills.

Mip
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I'm sure he's a fine therapist, but he's doing *cognitive* therapy.

He's not trained to help you with your feelings. Use the link I provided for the UK psychoanalytic group.

He wants you to change your *thoughts* by sheer will power; what I'm recommending is getting at the feelings that come BEFORE any thoughts.

When you understand the feelings, and let them out, you can more easily change your thoughts. In fact, they will change of their own accord!!

Your therapist is no doubt highly trained and an excellent psychotherapist for cognitive therapy. You are not responding to that kind of therapy, so I think you need to deal with your inner unconscious feelings and thoughts.

You see in your current unpleasant situation the result of your unconscious feelings and thoughts. Getting at THEM is the answer, not using your will power to "not focus" on this or that. No amount of TALKING about your thoughts will help, it seems.

You have inner feelings that you are not aware of right this minute, but it is THEY that are causing all of your problems with not feeling like yourself.

Your body KNOWS that you are "not yourself," and is trying to tell you to find out who you are. You have unconscious thoughts and feelings that you need to become aware of.

You need psychoanalytical therapy, not cognitive therapy.
 
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