[whiterabbit]

Why is it when I go out that I don't feel that I am there - I can see it all around me but it is as though I am dead and empty and wordless and not really in it - just observing others being, not really there and I am obsessed with this and it upsets me and it always has done since it started way back when I was a child.

 

[Martinelv]

Hey Whiterabbit.

Jesus, when this torture end. I know how you feel sweetheart, and I wish I had some wise words of advice, but as you know, I'm not particually helpful when it comes to dishing out advice. It's acute DP, and you know it. It's a horrible feeling. One thing I've noticed though, your DP (and correct me if I'm wrong) seems to come and go in cycles - or rather the intensity of it does. Have you noticed that, or am I way off the mark here ? If it does go in cycles, then perhaps if you could identify a trigger or something, it might go some way to shooting the bastard in the head.

Sorry, I'm no help. I can't even explain how I recovered!!

 

[Sojourner]

Whiterabbit,

If you've had this since childhood, I presume you've been thoroughly checked out neurologically. Is that correct? What does your doctor say?

You may have a physical issue that is well known and treatable. I posted some links yesterday in a thread (title: a "rare bird"?) relating to someone's question about temporal lobe dysfunction that you might want to check out. My point here is that some symptoms are known to be related to specific brain functioning and are not necessarily the kind of thing that you just have to "live through."

 

[Brainsilence02]

This is worthless effort, but here it goes...

What happens when you are outside? Do you get this just when you come out of the house or when you first meet people?

I am not trying to play doctor, I am only making the same questions that I try to make to myself.

 

[whiterabbit]

I suppose, brain, that I am more aware of it when I am outside because there is more stimuli, more people, greater depth of field, more things to navigate and cope with - inside I feel blank and detached but its not quite as intense or estranged as when I go out.

 

[Brainsilence02]

It's the people that cause this? If, for example, you go out at 5:00AM, when there are no people, does it happen? For instance, me, I am having a daydream that I walk outside (in places where normally it's very crowded) and there is noone there. It's one of my favourite fantasies

If this becomes uncomfortable, or annoying, just say "stop".

 

[jake]

Brain, that is one of my favorite fantasies too. I imagine downtown with very few cars, kind of quiet, some pedestrians, just enough to not feel alone, and I still have to stop at red lights, but NO bumper-to bumper traffic! I like to think of expressways this way too, plenty of ROOM, hardly anybody out.

 

[Digitalbath]

you're there alright. don't forget

 

[Brainsilence02]

Ahhh, yes.. I would also like to stop at red lights too, only that I don't know to drive

And the place must be a place where it is usually VERY crowded. And I would really like to be totally alone. Noone around. Maybe birds or a dog, but I am not sure.

It's a really gooood dream. I wander what it means. Maybe I should post this alone.

 

[Brainsilence02]

you're there alright. don't forget

What does this mean?

 

[Sojourner]

Whiterabbit asked, "Why is it when I go out that I don't feel that I am there."

And Digi said, in effect, "You are there, for sure. Don't forget that you know you really ARE there."