Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Hi! I've been dealing with very extreme dpdr for the past 4,5 months now. I'm only 16 which means I still have to go to school (we have school from home 1 day a week tho because of COVID). Obviously it's very difficult for me since I live 40 minutes from school and go long days, while dealing with dpdr, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. This makes everyday feel like I'm running a marathon, when I get home I'm completely exhausted from trying to hold myself together all day. Which makes the dpdr even worse. Because of this, I've decided that I'll go to school 60% of the week, which means that I'll have zoom-school one day, regular school 3 days, and then one day where I can try to recover as well as I can (while also catching up on schoolwork I miss because I can't study in the evenings). I'm planning on getting to school 80% by the time of December. Idk if these "goals" are way too easy, but I feel like it's a realistic plan for me to follow. The problem is, that my parents don't really seem to understand that some days I can't go to school. I haven't explained my whole plan, cause I know they'd just get mad and say that I'm lazy or don't try hard enough. The days I plan on staying home I'll say I didn't sleep enough, or I'll fake getting ready and say I had a panic attack or something. Then they'll spend the whole day being cold to me because I spend all day home. This gives me the feeling that maybe I am lazy, and maybe I should try more to get up for school, maybe I'm only faking this for attention? I honestly don't know, but it's making me feel like crap, which I don't need on top of everything else. It's like when I go to school they're happy and proud of me for getting there, but if the day after I need some rest they'll get super mad at me, like the day before never happened. When I want to stay home they act like I haven't been to school in a month or something. I'm only really trying my best but is my goal of going 60% to school too easy? I usually plan which day I'll be home based on what classes we have so I don't miss the important stuff. Also how do I make my parents understand that right now 100% of schooldays is just too much for me. I tried going everyday for a week and by the end I was completely ruined. I'm guessing they prefer me going everyday and then resting for the weekend, but this just makes it even harder to get to school on Monday considering how rough I know it is. Also, I can't really rest on the weekends because then I'm expected to be with my friends and socialise, which also feels like a whole marathon.

I guess what I want to ask is:
Are my goals too easy? Should I be going to school everyday?
And how do I make my parents understand that I can't go to school as much as I maybe should? How do I do that without making them mad?

I guess this is more general questions when it comes to anxiety, not specifically dpdr. But the dpdr is the main reason as to why I can't get to school, I'm thinking someone might have experienced this as well?
 

·
Administrator
Joined
·
223 Posts
Hey lost235,

Your planning seems fine to me, when it comes to economizing your energy, because it is obvious that you are really trying to keep everything going on, in spite of how difficult it all must be for you rn. And you are by no means lazy, the effort that you put into things is quite obvious from what you wrote.

However, I think you really need some help with what you are going through, ideally from a therapist who has experience with treating dissociation and anxiety (as not all therapists know or even understand DPDR). Also, sometimes parents, or anyone else close to us, do not understand something that they have not been through themselves. A good therapists can give you the right tools to handle that as well.

Take care,

A.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
144 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hey lost235,

Your planning seems fine to me, when it comes to economizing your energy, because it is obvious that you are really trying to keep everything going on, in spite of how difficult it all must be for you rn. And you are by no means lazy, the effort that you put into things is quite obvious from what you wrote.

However, I think you really need some help with what you are going through, ideally from a therapist who has experience with treating dissociation and anxiety (as not all therapists know or even understand DPDR). Also, sometimes parents, or anyone else close to us, do not understand something that they have not been through themselves. A good therapists can give you the right tools to handle that as well.

Take care,
A.
Hi Anna! Thanks so much for the reply, I really appreciate it:) it's good to know that I'm doing a fine job planning out what I can manage to do through the week. I've been feeling, as I said, very lazy for not being able to do everything that people expect from me.

I'm already seeing a therapist who I feel doesn't really understand how much I struggle with dissociation, I'm not sure she's even considering that as a possible "disorder". I'll try to find someone who is more familiar with my symptoms, hopefully one that understands me a bit more!

Again thanks so much!:)
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top