ahhhhh!!!!!

i'm so stupid i just bite like my arm kinda hard but it didn't hurt. i don't feel my skin i'm tired of this. good its not bleeding. i can't even tell if i'm bleeding cuz nothing hurts. i'm so tired of this. how in the world is this possible? really someone explain this shit. how is it possible to feel like this. to feel nothing physcially, mentally, emotionally, just feel like air. and everytime i try talkin to my family they get mad, i have no one to talk to. everything is a blur. EVERYTHING i want this to end. i mite be trying lamictal soon. i hope that helps but i don't know anymore. i'm tired of feeling dead. i just don't understand this. i actually feel mad tonight. just a little bit, but its still not helpin me feel back in my body. hell sucks. really really sucks. why can't things seem wonderful and beautiful anymore? i try to be positive but its really hard when your like this. i find it hard to talk to people cuz they don't seem real and i can't connect to them. i need a miracle. it doesn't even feel like i'm breathing. wtf!!