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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
After having this full blown going on 6 and a half years it does not get easier... every day is more traumatizing than the next. Idk how to cope with this anymore and I don’t mean to sound negative it’s just the truth. It’s not even a battle anymore it’s just a huge burden on my back that I “live” with everyday. I hate dp so much it has taken all my quality of life away for such a huge chunk of my life I don’t even know where to start if I ever got out of it or who I would even be. Damn.
 

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I've spent years in the fire too so i know exactly how you feel. Quality of life almost non existent.

I truly believe we all have it in us to recover from whatever is thrown our way

You will be your true self. You always were
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks guys... I have been hanging in there for what feels like a lifetime with this and it feels as though there is really not much to hang on to at this point...I think I’m in way too deep and I’m being honest with myself. I’ve had this very bad chronically for this many years I don’t even recollect what a life is. You have to be extremely strong mentally to go through something like this and I know all of us on here are strong mentally and spiritually to being hanging on such a thin thread. It’s just so devastating and demotivating to wake up everyday with absolutely nothing.
 
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40 years for me. Age 17-57. I didn't know what happened to me at age 17 and I wouldn't figure it out until I was 57. But I did, and it was an Eureka moment like no other

when, while reading a British Neurological Journal, I found a case history that matched my own in every minute detail. And, there were some very odd details that needed matching.

I knew then the ball was in my court and I was no longer at the mercy of the know nothing mental health service provider community. I found a neurologist that specialized

in epileptic disorders and had a work up that confirmed my self diagnosis, that which the British Medical Journal spoke of. A rare epileptic syndrome where the post ictal

psychosis of the initial seizures segue into an affective disorder of major depression. Dp and Dr were lesser symptoms of this disorder. It was empowering to learn that

everything I went through was explained and understood by at least someone in the medical community. I had ECT in 2014, and discontinued all psych meds after more

than 25 years of treatment with everything that was FDA approved. I wish the same for all of you!
 

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I think rare is a more appropriate term than unique. Unique is alone. I knew I could not be alone. I may not be the typical dp/dr sufferer, but knowing I was not unique gave me hope in finding more information

about others who suffered my specific symptoms. Rare can be hard to find, but it's out there. I recommend the EEG because it is simple and painless and can

help sort out the situation. No need to go undiagnosed for 40 years due to the ignorance of the neuro/psych community. I don't recommend ECT for dp/dr. The medical journal which detailed my epileptic

syndrome stated I was a worst case scenario because I developed an affective disorder of major depression. The symptoms of dp/dr are mild in comparison to those of major depression. I do recommend

ECT for major depression. Under the umbrella of major depression, I experienced the pandora's box of psychiatric symptoms. I had so many different symptoms I didn't know if I was coming or going.

When I see someone writing about any of those symptoms, I feel a need to relate my story so they can see if they are rare like me.
 

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I guess I could look for an epileptic syndrome comorbid with major depression and non primary dp/dr forum, but I've been here for more than 20 years and I'm comfortable.
 

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I think rare is a more appropriate term than unique. Unique is alone. I knew I could not be alone. I may not be the typical dp/dr sufferer, but knowing I was not unique gave me hope in finding more information
about others who suffered my specific symptoms. Rare can be hard to find, but it's out there. I recommend the EEG because it is simple and painless and can
help sort out the situation. No need to go undiagnosed for 40 years due to the ignorance of the neuro/psych community. I don't recommend ECT for dp/dr. The medical journal which detailed my epileptic
syndrome stated I was a worst case scenario because I developed an affective disorder of major depression. The symptoms of dp/dr are mild in comparison to those of major depression. I do recommend
ECT for major depression. Under the umbrella of major depression, I experienced the pandora's box of psychiatric symptoms. I had so many different symptoms I didn't know if I was coming or going.
When I see someone writing about any of those symptoms, I feel a need to relate my story so they can see if they are rare like me.
I feel like I always see this comment but never asked. Do you consider yourself dpdr free?
 

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I was at a similar point myself. Where literally every day seemed to be somehow a little worse than the day before. I remember thinking how there was always a line that it (in terms of symptoms and worsening functioning) seemed to never cross, one that if it did go over, I would be rendered completely unable to do anything. Eventually, it did cross that line and in 2015 I had some kind of brief psychotic episode or mental breakdown that lasted for a good month or two. After that it hasnt been that way, thankfully. Instead of constantly going downhill with no coming back up, I started to slowly come back from whatever it was that happened. I managed to reach some milestones like getting a job and living on my own (albeit temporarily). I still cross my fingers today though, even after nearly 5 years, in hopes that it never reaches that level again. Pure fear and hopelessness. My mind has not been the same whatsoever and never will be.
 
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