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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey everyone,

Alone with Yourself
I'm panicked. Is everyone here afraid to live there own lives? This idea only seems to come up when my "frame of living" gets altered dramatically. For instance, my girlfriend of a year just broke up with me.
Basically, i'm afraid because my DP/DR has a "NEW" side-effect. Fear of being alone. I used to get this feeling in spades, when I thought 'no one' could understand how I feel, and I was "through the looking glass".

But now, it's taken on this giant proportion...like I'm afraid to be alonep! At least before I had someone to lean on. No it's to the very point where it exacerbates my DP/DR and vice versa. So it's a vicious cycle isn't it? Does anyone else feel this way? That they'd give up their own life if someone else could make decicisions..."live" for them? It's so frightening, y'know? I've really never felt this ALONE before.

TIME ISSUES
It's like being stuck in the DP/DR fuzzy-head loop, and suddenly realizing
"OH MY GOD, it's 4 years later!" and all of the stuff you could have done already...that you should have. It's so astronomical that not even the drugs (Klonopin) in this case will help. It's like that nightmare where you keep waking up into one reality after another going "Oh it was a dream!" Nope. The next, and the next. Does anyone else have this ever-present reminder of time being "lost" constantly? You're working at something, but you can't see the bigger picture out of the bigger picture, out of the bigger picture, follow?

I've had DP/DR for 4 years now. I don't know WHERE the hell the first 2 went, and the 2nd two haven't been all that much better. I've gone on
Now I am panicked, going "Gawd, i'm 23, I need to finish college THIS year!" Sorry to be more personal, I just lost my support center.

Cheers.

Doug/Sixtiessoul (that70sboy/Dj)
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Hey everyone,

Alone with Yourself
I'm panicked. Is everyone here afraid to live there own lives? This idea only seems to come up when my "frame of living" gets altered dramatically. For instance, my girlfriend of a year just broke up with me.
Basically, i'm afraid because my DP/DR has a "NEW" side-effect. Fear of being alone. I used to get this feeling in spades, when I thought 'no one' could understand how I feel, and I was "through the looking glass".

But now, it's taken on this giant proportion...like I'm afraid to be alonep! At least before I had someone to lean on. No it's to the very point where it exacerbates my DP/DR and vice versa. So it's a vicious cycle isn't it? Does anyone else feel this way? That they'd give up their own life if someone else could make decicisions..."live" for them? It's so frightening, y'know? I've really never felt this ALONE before.

TIME ISSUES
It's like being stuck in the DP/DR fuzzy-head loop, and suddenly realizing
"OH MY GOD, it's 4 years later!" and all of the stuff you could have done already...that you should have. It's so astronomical that not even the drugs (Klonopin) in this case will help. It's like that nightmare where you keep waking up into one reality after another going "Oh it was a dream!" Nope. The next, and the next. Does anyone else have this ever-present reminder of time being "lost" constantly? You're working at something, but you can't see the bigger picture out of the bigger picture, out of the bigger picture, follow?

I've had DP/DR for 4 years now. I don't know WHERE the hell the first 2 went, and the 2nd two haven't been all that much better. I've gone on
Now I am panicked, going "Gawd, i'm 23, I need to finish college THIS year!" Sorry to be more personal, I just lost my support center.

Cheers.

Doug/Sixtiessoul (that70sboy/Dj)
 

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Remember that a sense of loneliness is a normal feeling for anyone who has recently come out of a relationship. Lonely in itself isn?t a catastrophic problem, but DP causing us to vigilantly monitor any change occurring in our body and thus any small emotion that trips the watchdog circuit will be amplified to unbearable proportions.

To address the interesting point of time, as a child you no doubt took trips in the car with your parents. During some of those times you may have closed your eyes for a period of time and then made an attempt to guess at what point of the journey the car was currently at. I?m sure there were a few moments of surprise when you?d reopened your eyes to find that you were a few blocks away from where you?d assumed you might be. DP causes us to turn our eyes inward and in doing so we miss the journey of life. Its not wonder we scare ourselves senseless when we realise how far we've come during some of those fleeting moment of clarity.
 

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Remember that a sense of loneliness is a normal feeling for anyone who has recently come out of a relationship. Lonely in itself isn?t a catastrophic problem, but DP causing us to vigilantly monitor any change occurring in our body and thus any small emotion that trips the watchdog circuit will be amplified to unbearable proportions.

To address the interesting point of time, as a child you no doubt took trips in the car with your parents. During some of those times you may have closed your eyes for a period of time and then made an attempt to guess at what point of the journey the car was currently at. I?m sure there were a few moments of surprise when you?d reopened your eyes to find that you were a few blocks away from where you?d assumed you might be. DP causes us to turn our eyes inward and in doing so we miss the journey of life. Its not wonder we scare ourselves senseless when we realise how far we've come during some of those fleeting moment of clarity.
 
G

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(((Sixtiessoul))),

first, sorry for you loss. Change is hard. I can only share my own personal experience in hopes that it helps.

I have had breakups in the past that have sent me into unbearable lonely states. It can really shake your foundation. I believe it is a grieving process and a period of reajustment. I would encourage you to talk about your break up and loss to people that are safe. And in between, try to do things for yourself that you like to do. Maybe do it with friends as that may help with the lonliness.

I LOVE what nemesis said here! I love the analogy of riding in the car with your eyes closed. I have done that when swinging on the swing set. It is almost refreshing, everything looks brighter, newer. Not scary like dp/dr.

Carla
 
G

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(((Sixtiessoul))),

first, sorry for you loss. Change is hard. I can only share my own personal experience in hopes that it helps.

I have had breakups in the past that have sent me into unbearable lonely states. It can really shake your foundation. I believe it is a grieving process and a period of reajustment. I would encourage you to talk about your break up and loss to people that are safe. And in between, try to do things for yourself that you like to do. Maybe do it with friends as that may help with the lonliness.

I LOVE what nemesis said here! I love the analogy of riding in the car with your eyes closed. I have done that when swinging on the swing set. It is almost refreshing, everything looks brighter, newer. Not scary like dp/dr.

Carla
 

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im on my own now for 5 weeks,the first time in years and at first it was scary as hell,i was climbing the walls,but ive gotten off my arse and been busy painting the house(everything in sight!)
cooking,cleaning,hoovering im busier now than ive ever been and infact i now feel quite independant and confident with myself because i know i can do it(well theres no alternative really) ,the night times are pretty bad though,thats when i tend to come onto this forum spilling my gutts out
 

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im on my own now for 5 weeks,the first time in years and at first it was scary as hell,i was climbing the walls,but ive gotten off my arse and been busy painting the house(everything in sight!)
cooking,cleaning,hoovering im busier now than ive ever been and infact i now feel quite independant and confident with myself because i know i can do it(well theres no alternative really) ,the night times are pretty bad though,thats when i tend to come onto this forum spilling my gutts out
 

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I am sorry for the pain you are in, being alone and suddenly feeling like you cannot exist without someone is very sad. It is scarey when you are alone and can here your thoughts in a room out loud. You must remember though that you are not completely alone. The most important person to you in this whole world is looking back at you in the mirror. We can be around many people and feel very alone if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin. Loving oneself and taking the time to get to know yourself is very important. I am not saying it is easy, but you will never be alone if you have you.

gem.
 

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I am sorry for the pain you are in, being alone and suddenly feeling like you cannot exist without someone is very sad. It is scarey when you are alone and can here your thoughts in a room out loud. You must remember though that you are not completely alone. The most important person to you in this whole world is looking back at you in the mirror. We can be around many people and feel very alone if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin. Loving oneself and taking the time to get to know yourself is very important. I am not saying it is easy, but you will never be alone if you have you.

gem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Gem,

Thanks for the console. I think alot of people on here face the fear of being alone, and take it more seriously than 'normal' people, because well, we're feeling rather alone anyway aren't we? hehe. But yeah, it's MUCH better when yer not alone.

This happens every night at about 1-3am, when I miss my ex, and I can't sleep, and the anxiety and DP sets in. Also, i've noticed that i REALLY feel Derealization, cos my world has been turned on its side, and I don't have that person to "convince" me that I'm real by being there.

And i am sad.

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Jc,

I've also been trying to "get on with it", and put my arse to work as well. But it's very disabling indeed. I bury myself in my Japanese studies, but it does not help with that pain and sickness and derealization, and discomfort within my own body, that will not go away and not heal until I find something that gives me that comfort. It used to be people, but since people hurt you this way, I'm thinking it has to be something intangible, or inanimate...guitars don't work....at least not right now. HAHA.

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7Carla

Thank you for your Hugs, and thank you for your advice. I'm quite positive this breakup is heart-wrenching because of the circumstances of what i went through to keep it together, and that it STILL fell by the wayside. It's a grieving process, but for me...it's more than that. It's rather like going on a new "alice and wonderland" ride everyday, and settling at the end feeling more lost and pathetic and DP'd out than before. But i've taken your advice, and i've tried to talk to safe people...only my support center at this time (1am-3am) (my dad) told me he can't take talking to me this late. So much for the help line. But i'll try the "do stuff for yourself" part too as well...I'm just coming to the end of my rope it seems.

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Nemesis,

Its not wonder we scare ourselves senseless when we realise how far we've come during some of those fleeting moment of clarity.
I totally know what you mean. I realised this week that I "leaned" on this girl and "forgot" about my illness. Therefore, since she's gone for good, I come to these questions like "Did I ever even really know her, if I had to work so hard??", and the etc. It scares the hell out of you, like I said, waking up from waking up from waking up dreams.

I can't seem to deal with the wake-up...

Especially at 1-4am. :)

cheers just the same.

sixtiessoul/that70sboy/dj/doug
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Gem,

Thanks for the console. I think alot of people on here face the fear of being alone, and take it more seriously than 'normal' people, because well, we're feeling rather alone anyway aren't we? hehe. But yeah, it's MUCH better when yer not alone.

This happens every night at about 1-3am, when I miss my ex, and I can't sleep, and the anxiety and DP sets in. Also, i've noticed that i REALLY feel Derealization, cos my world has been turned on its side, and I don't have that person to "convince" me that I'm real by being there.

And i am sad.

------------

Jc,

I've also been trying to "get on with it", and put my arse to work as well. But it's very disabling indeed. I bury myself in my Japanese studies, but it does not help with that pain and sickness and derealization, and discomfort within my own body, that will not go away and not heal until I find something that gives me that comfort. It used to be people, but since people hurt you this way, I'm thinking it has to be something intangible, or inanimate...guitars don't work....at least not right now. HAHA.

-------------
7Carla

Thank you for your Hugs, and thank you for your advice. I'm quite positive this breakup is heart-wrenching because of the circumstances of what i went through to keep it together, and that it STILL fell by the wayside. It's a grieving process, but for me...it's more than that. It's rather like going on a new "alice and wonderland" ride everyday, and settling at the end feeling more lost and pathetic and DP'd out than before. But i've taken your advice, and i've tried to talk to safe people...only my support center at this time (1am-3am) (my dad) told me he can't take talking to me this late. So much for the help line. But i'll try the "do stuff for yourself" part too as well...I'm just coming to the end of my rope it seems.

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Nemesis,

Its not wonder we scare ourselves senseless when we realise how far we've come during some of those fleeting moment of clarity.
I totally know what you mean. I realised this week that I "leaned" on this girl and "forgot" about my illness. Therefore, since she's gone for good, I come to these questions like "Did I ever even really know her, if I had to work so hard??", and the etc. It scares the hell out of you, like I said, waking up from waking up from waking up dreams.

I can't seem to deal with the wake-up...

Especially at 1-4am. :)

cheers just the same.

sixtiessoul/that70sboy/dj/doug
 
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