I have never understood the various theories about addcition, but I know for me that my dp/dr/anxiety/fatigue and listlessness needs stimulation and diversion, and some behaviours seem to accomplish this. When my head is weak and I am feeling symptomatic I have almsot a compulsive need to daydream, to take a break from my zombieness. I find it hard to stay in my skin, to be in the present when I am dr'rd or anxious. I want to escape. Gambling provides lots of adrenalin. Beer is the only med that had worked for me and I have wound up dependent on it. Gambling plus beer is all too powerful. Porn is disgusting to me, but I fall prey to mental sexual fantasy which gives me a lift (ha ha). What I am saying is that these behaviours that can be addictive seem to provide some jolt for helping me feel alive when I feel dead. too bad they can be pathological. I am not sure if I would have used these diversions or masks if i had not become dr'dr etc.
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