i think it just takes time, im like a year deep and for like a couple months now this shit is like second nature, i struggle everyday but i just have a fuck it attitude, like im give everything my all, and what happens, happens
if u have weird thoughts, just know there dumb and go on with ur day
if u have anxiety, go thru that barrier and do what u have to do
just live like u use to, shit still has to be done, keep doing ur shit
- also talking is like a good escape and a way to get better, i always strike up a convo when im feeling dp'd or if im in the car feeling dp, turn the radio up or like just talk to myself, like fuckin car, move ur ass heheh idk man it kinda helps haha
I ask 0 questions. Been about 4 years. Just locked in my mind. I got out 4 times in my first year but now it's not really suffering. I'm just empty and still don't have my self.
Everyone tells me to surrender let go or accept. Now I can make anxiety come up or not now.
So is accepting ultimately relaxing as much as you can with it? I just stay focused now but this doesn't kill it. It's off my mind but if I'm alone it's there if not distracted.
So I don't know if I've accepted it or not. I've moved on in life and don't research anymore, I feel a lot better but in the first 6 months I "accepted" it and I had a feeling with acceptance. Then I stayed in the moment and fell out of it.
Maybe release emotions idk
I can socialize fine, but I guess I feel like it's all a show or mask so I don't have to deal with this. I've ran and fought it so long that it's normal.
Still have sticky thoughts, they don't come and go freely.
????or maybe this is just me freaking out cause I had a breakdown for the first time in 8 months this week and I think I'm falling off the road to recovery. Worst dp attack I've ever had but I fought it. Thought I was gonna pass out but I shoulda fallen into it in refrospect.
Hi.. good morning and all that jazz.
I have been pushing myself to go out recently even if I don't want to. I think I have a sense that I want to reject the world. I notice I have very little interest or capacity to carry out conversations and when I do I have to feign interest and hope that ppl don't see how immature and impotent I feel. Also I want to stay inert with my body and not do the simplest of movements.
For me it's been a life long struggle. I think it stems from not having a clear sense of self and quite a lot of neglect growing up.
There wasn't a lot of acknowledgement for who I was and my needs. I was just an addendum to my mother. And it was like I was invisible. My father too. He didn't see me and he has absolutely no memories of me growing up.
I know I'm an adult and in middle age but it still feels important to acknowledge these gaps. And perhaps other ppl can relate too.
But dp didn't just come out of nowhere. It has become a go to place where I don't have any needs or wants and I don't feel effective in the world. Bc it revisits me so often I have to realize that it is an entity and not something that just 'visits' me. Rather it represents poor understanding of self.
It's so hard, this condition. I feel so alone. It's weird bc I have hard years where I am functioning. This is the worst it's been. And the moments go by like syrup: so slow and wo continuity.
This is not something I wish for myself.
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