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I've always been afraid of the Blank Mind symptom

I've just started obsessing about it and I keep trying to listen for my inner monologue and try to visualize things in my head and its getting really difficult. I can hear my inner monologue but It's just very quiet

I also keep trying to see if I can "see" my thoughts as I'm having a conversation with someone

I'm currently in a 3 hour econ class and my Pure OCD is about to pop the fuck off in class, i cant focus because I keep trying to listen to my inner monologue when reading and it sounds extremely faint or its kinda not there

I've been obsessing all day about this and this past weekend, fuckin hell. I was fine a week ago about this but here I am freakin the fuck out all day. I can still get music stuck in my head, it just isn't thst loud, it isnt the equivalent to having headphones in my ear or anything.
 

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Please try not to focus on this particular symptom, because by bringing attention to it, you're only making it worse, and trust me, I know all to well from experience. Around 2 years ago, the "blank mind symptom" was one of my number one fears associated with DPD. Everyday, alone or even having a conversation with somebody, I'd constantly try to imagine my thoughts, imagine memories, or try to listen to my inner dialogue, just to make sure I wasn't experiencing a blank mind. From what I've came to learn and remember, is that normal people without DP just let their thoughts and minds flow without questioning what is going on. I used to believe I had a blank mind forever until I realized I was just so overly aware of my mind, I was actually causing it TO go blank because I'd only focus on what was going on inside my mind and not outside, which would cause mental turmoil making everything worse. It was extremely difficult at first, and it was hard for me to believe that I'd ever get over it, but as time went on, it became easier and easier to forget about my mind and what was going on in it, and just let it flow. For me, time has been the biggest healer of DP. 3 years ago I thought I was going insane, and that at any second i was going to lose my mind, but everyday since then has gotten better and better. As time passes, and the more you figure out that most of your symptoms are caused by your own mind and you tricking yourself, the easier it becomes to beat this habit of thoughts.

I'm positive you will beat this, good luck! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me!
 

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Please try not to focus on this particular symptom, because by bringing attention to it, you're only making it worse, and trust me, I know all to well from experience. Around 2 years ago, the "blank mind symptom" was one of my number one fears associated with DPD. Everyday, alone or even having a conversation with somebody, I'd constantly try to imagine my thoughts, imagine memories, or try to listen to my inner dialogue, just to make sure I wasn't experiencing a blank mind. From what I've came to learn and remember, is that normal people without DP just let their thoughts and minds flow without questioning what is going on. I used to believe I had a blank mind forever until I realized I was just so overly aware of my mind, I was actually causing it TO go blank because I'd only focus on what was going on inside my mind and not outside, which would cause mental turmoil making everything worse. It was extremely difficult at first, and it was hard for me to believe that I'd ever get over it, but as time went on, it became easier and easier to forget about my mind and what was going on in it, and just let it flow. For me, time has been the biggest healer of DP. 3 years ago I thought I was going insane, and that at any second i was going to lose my mind, but everyday since then has gotten better and better. As time passes, and the more you figure out that most of your symptoms are caused by your own mind and you tricking yourself, the easier it becomes to beat this habit of thoughts.

I'm positive you will beat this, good luck! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me!
Great advice.
 

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Please try not to focus on this particular symptom, because by bringing attention to it, you're only making it worse, and trust me, I know all to well from experience. Around 2 years ago, the "blank mind symptom" was one of my number one fears associated with DPD. Everyday, alone or even having a conversation with somebody, I'd constantly try to imagine my thoughts, imagine memories, or try to listen to my inner dialogue, just to make sure I wasn't experiencing a blank mind. From what I've came to learn and remember, is that normal people without DP just let their thoughts and minds flow without questioning what is going on. I used to believe I had a blank mind forever until I realized I was just so overly aware of my mind, I was actually causing it TO go blank because I'd only focus on what was going on inside my mind and not outside, which would cause mental turmoil making everything worse. It was extremely difficult at first, and it was hard for me to believe that I'd ever get over it, but as time went on, it became easier and easier to forget about my mind and what was going on in it, and just let it flow. For me, time has been the biggest healer of DP. 3 years ago I thought I was going insane, and that at any second i was going to lose my mind, but everyday since then has gotten better and better. As time passes, and the more you figure out that most of your symptoms are caused by your own mind and you tricking yourself, the easier it becomes to beat this habit of thoughts.
I'm positive you will beat this, good luck! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me!
Thats exactly what I do, I keep wondering how the hell I have full on conversations with people if I can't "see" or "hear" every thought that comes into my head. I asked my girlfriend if she sees or hears every thought she has when talking and she says it's just automatic unless she really has to think about what to say if it's a really important conversation ect.

I then also obsess about how loud my inner monologue should be. Should it be as loud and clear as say, a person talking to you? Or quieter? These things drive me nuts.

Its prolly helpful to say that I have a tendency to obsess on symptoms, 2 weeks ago Blank Mind wasn't on my mind at all, i was obsessing over a burning/itching on my legs and head... it went away after I went to Las Vegas, I forgot about it.

Edit: oh also, did u have pressure in the back of your head sometimes? I usually get it when I'm checking for my inner monologue, I also get a slight headache on the front of my head with some pressure aswell
 

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Dude yeah, I used to symptom swap daily, haha. Everyday it was something new, but mostly it was like what you said yourself. I always focused on how I spoke, how the hell was I speaking without thinking about it? Stuff like that drove me insane! I'd be reading something and re read the same sentence 40 times just so I could see it in my head to be sure I was integrating that information. I'd find myself constantly asking my friends things like "dude do you focus on your thoughts, dude do you think then talk, do you...". Eventually one day I just said fuck it and put all the mental energy I had into ignoring those thoughts and bringing complete focus to the present and what's around me. I remember the days where I'd scare the shit out of myself because I'd be doing something while lost in that type of thought, then come back to what I'm doing and be like "fuck I forgot what I'm doing, has to be something more sinister than DP!" When in reality my mind was focused on my thoughts instead of the task at hand.

Yeah man, I used to get bad head pains at the back of my head and the front. Sometimes the headaches would be absolutely unbearable. I still get a small headache every 2 weeks or so, but nowhere near what it was.
 

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My inner monologue changed entirely with DP and my memory became 'photographic'. Every time i think to remember something i get a flashing image in my head. It's unwanted, happens thousands of times per day and it disturbes me. My memory used to be 'automatic' aswell. My advice though - do not play around with your mental faculties when you have DP. Don't focus on it, don't analyse it. By doing that it drove me completely up to wall and totally detached me from reality. 1.5 years and i'm slowly clawing my way back out
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My inner monologue changed entirely with DP and my memory became 'photographic'. Every time i think to remember something i get a flashing image in my head. It's unwanted, happens thousands of times per day and it disturbes me. My memory used to be 'automatic' aswell. My advice though - do not play around with your mental faculties when you have DP. Don't focus on it, don't analyse it. By doing that it drove me completely up to wall and totally detached me from reality. 1.5 years and i'm slowly clawing my way back out
it's so frustrating because I'm over analyzing myself so fucking much all day, literally all day. This is all I have thought about for the past 5 days pretty much, when 2 weeks ago i was focusing on something else completely. How did ur inner monologue change?

I go from being relatively calm to wanting to freak out and go to the ER
 

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Before I had Dp my thoughts were crisp. I thought in sentences, i had emotion attached to the things and concepts i thought about, my memory was automatic, smooth. Thoughts came and went freely. After Dp i lost my inner voice, i stopped being able to think in sentences or follow a train of thought to its' conclusion. My brain sometimes gets jammed on a simple thought and it's like i cant shake it and move on. My thoughts also i can only describe as nebulous, unclear and filled with static. It's honestly a mess.

Are you able to detach at all? You gotta do your best to not give it all your attention, try and have some days of just sitting with it and let it wash over you, hopefully you will move on quickly. My obsessions completely detached me from reality to the point where i can't work, have a girlfriend or do any of that good stuff. Recovery is so slow when you fall down the deepest pit
 
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