hey sc, I'm praying for you too. Even though I've never been good at giving advice I'll try my best.
Well I am doing a retreat for my church and we attend weekly meetings. At the last meeting we were supposed to say what we thought this quote meant. I can't really remember what the quote was but it talked about helping people and how we shouldn't help them just to help them. We should help them because we're all united in problems and if one person in the community has a problem it becomes the whole communities problem. er I know it sounds corny but I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe there is a problem with you going back to her because it makes you feel better about yourself. Maybe instead of looking down on her for having those problems you should look at her as someone who has different problems, but they have kinda of the same effect which I guess is effecting (affecting? ) your quality of life. it might not be the problem at all but not so sure. hope maybe this helps a little :? !
Dear sc, sorry you are feeling so crappy. I have to fly home but just wanted to say hello before I did. I honestly have no advice that I havent said before. But its great at least that you know that work helps. Structure has been the one thing that has kept me on this side of sanity. I'm pretty good now. I feel for you though. I know how awful it was when I felt so terrible it didnt seem possible to go on. That I would explode from anxiety. I dont know how to tell you how I am where I am. meds in part but I only take a trickle. Basically its focusing outwards, understanding the trick of DP. Building sucess little by little. If you can forget your self for a minute, like I know you can, then it is possible you can for longer and longer. Its just so scary to imagine doing it. Its like if you let go you will totally disapear, but you wont its counter intuitive but its magic when you can. I know this is only a fraction of the way out but hope this helps a tad! Much Love Deb
From an outside observer's position, I'm not surprised that your DP has gone into overdrive during a break from work.
The pressure of juggling 'family man' mode and the ongoing attachment (symbiosis?) with your ex can now have 100% of your attention without work getting in the way!
Unless I've got the wrong end of the stick here and your wife is happy with your ex being in the background, you have to decide where your priorities are once and for all before you really DO get old! :wink:
im sympathetic with your situation sc,i really am...but i cant seem to quite understand whats going on in your life,i read your posts about your troublesome life and you seem to take ages to get to the point and it leaves me feeling confused,i know its none of my buisiness but i find it hard to understand whats going on,or am i just missing the point...
i can relate SC, obviously our lives are much different, but when i read your posts 90 % of the time i can relate in some way. I think you need to find out, what you really want to do, & what is really bothering you & possibly what is the root cause of your problems.
not saying anything that hasnt already been said....
i think returning to the routine and structure of the workplace will help.
time off probably sounded great..you could work things out..time out from earth..but i think people with our situation need to so involved in the world that it makes them sick. at least, thats the way i am approaching my second-and-hopefully-successful recovery.
personally, i have set up september to be the busiest month i have had since i can remember. i dread it coming, but i know structure and activity help keep my mind off the nothingness that lurks there.
youre in my thoughts, brozeph. you are here and alive and not crazy.
sorry sc i didnt meen to be rude but i have the attention span of a one week old dung beetle and it was maybe my fault.....but i never know which women you are reffering to as you seem to keep this part of your life very cryptic....i meen whos e-woman how many e-woemn have you got....whos the ex ....you see i get confused ,but think yourself lucky you have all of 'these women'
sc, this morning I woke up feeling completely drained, frustrated, sad and totally lost thinking will this nightmare ever end? Will I ever just feel like a person again? Where did you I go? What is this illness? God what are we truly dealing with here? I could ask myself alot more of these kind of questions and could probably be asking them for a very long time. Is there an answer to be found? After thinking about all this for a moment I decided to just go my computer and go to where I feel there is a place I belong, a place where others understand what it is like to feel this way.
I read your post sc, and I do sympathize with you, I know how truly painful it is to live in this day after day. If it is okay to give a little advice, it may not be what you would like to here, but that is okay it would be up to you. I know at some time in your life you loved the ex-girlfriend and it was probably a wonderful feeling to be in love and have all the dreams just waiting for you. This person walked away and you were totally devastated by it. Now after you have a wife and little ones to think of your first priority should be them and yourself especially you. You are worth being respected and treated better than you were at some time and even now. To bring these problems this woman has to you is not a good thing, I would not think so anyway. Focus on you and your family. Family stick together through good times and bad times, well we hope they do, sometimes not always but if you have a family do not let the problems of someone else destroy this. This woman needs to get help for herself and go on with her life. As for the illness and how you are suffering my heart goes out to you I know how you feel, it is a horrible illness to be in. We have to hold on to hope that someday we will be better until then sc, think of you first, do not try to take on the problems of the world. You deserve good things and in time life will give those good things. Some days we may not believe that but I am happy when I can do just the simple things in a day, like getting up and trying my hardest for feel good and do the best I can in what I live.
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