[coraliecotton]

hi,
I've had dp/dr on and off for 5 years. it tends to come in cycles along with some very disturbing emotions that i'm unsure of the nature of. i initially thought they were anxiety( i do feel extremely anxious) but i'm not sure if depression is the root of my problems. i'm hoping anyone here who suffers with depression can share their experiences. what does it feel like to you? the feeling i'm talking about is an intense emotional feeling felt in your gut. it comes in surges and is generally generated by a thought but the thought is impossible to pin down exactly. it can just be from looking at something. thinking about a memory. thinking of something i have to do. i get this horrible gripping senation in the pit of my stomach. it's not an adrenaline rush as such so i don't know if it's anxiety but it's more of a guilty feeling like i've done something really terrible that can't be undone. or i've just heard some terrible news and nothing will ever be the same again. it grips for a few seconds or minutes sometimes then it eases if i completely empty my mind but then as soon as i try to move forward in thought or action it grips again like i'm remembering something really bad and it's too difficult to go on. it seems impossible to get my mind off this feeling and feel positive about anything but sometimes if i get distracted for long enough and relax the bad feeling goes away for a while. any thoughts on this? does it sound like anxiety or depression? can anyone identify? any responses would be greatly appreciated cos i really feel like i'm living in hell right now!!!!

 

[Guest]

I know exactly what you mean - but I'm pretty sure it's just caused by adrenalin surges or similar. It gets you right in the pit of your stomach and mine is also 'triggered' by thoughts.

 

[CECIL]

Sounds more like anxiety to me. The guilty feeling I can relate to and it makes me really anxious, as though something terrible is about to happen to me (e.g. the person I just wronged will hate me, hit me or something along those lines).

Depression for me usually isn't as direct or "intense", its mostly a lingering feeling of complete emotional numbess, the feeling of being worthless, self-hatred, not having any energy or drive to do anything (because anything I could do would be equally as pointless and not at all enjoyable) etc.

The physical sensation of depression usually starts out as a "weight" in the back of my head, just where my spine meets my brain. Its as though a black hole has just materialized inside my head and is dragging me into it. In minutes it creeps outward and engulfs my whole body. It culminates as an all over "Deadness", as though my body is made of stone and every movement is incredibly hard to make. I am sluggish and generally feel as though anything I am doing is worthless. Though come to think of it, I haven't felt that sensation for a while now.

But on the other hand, when my emotions push to the surfaces it does feel like a stabbing or tearing pain right in the pit of my stomach that literally causes me to lie curled up in the foetal position - crying if I am capable of crying. But this is a very intense pain rather than a knot or gripping sensation.

If you are anxious you may feel agitated/restless, panicky, short of breath, sweat lots etc. Depression tends to be a long, lingering feeling of emptiness and worthlessness, for me.

 

[coraliecotton]

thanks for responding. cecil- this feeling in the pit of my stomach is like an intense unbearable emotional pain. it grips and intensifies related to what i am thinking. it also makes me not want to do anything because the only emotion i can access is this horrible feeling. it feels like guilt but extremely intense like if you had just killed your best freind or sadness like you have always done every thing with your best freind but now they are gone so doing things feels unbearably lonely and at the same time terrifying. do you think this is depression? sometimes during the day it will go away for a while or at least signifigantly decrease. does depression do that or is it constant?

 

[coraliecotton]

thanks for responding. cecil- this feeling in the pit of my stomach is like an intense unbearable emotional pain. it grips and intensifies related to what i am thinking. it also makes me not want to do anything because the only emotion i can access is this horrible feeling. it feels like guilt but extremely intense like if you had just killed your best freind or sadness like you have always done every thing with your best freind but now they are gone so doing things feels unbearably lonely and at the same time terrifying. do you think this is depression? sometimes during the day it will go away for a while or at least signifigantly decrease. does depression do that or is it constant?

 

[agentcooper]

to me, it sounds like anxiety. it also sounds absolutely horrible! i would recomment going to a doctor.

 

[CECIL]

It sounds the same as the pain I was talking about, which I think is one aspect of depression - sort of the overflow of a lot of suppressed emotional pain.

However I only get that when I'm in a really bad way - its not all the time by any means. It would only last an hour or two and only once every couple of months or so.

If you are feeling this way all the time then I'm not sure but I feel for you. It might be depression though like I said, depression for me tends to just be a droning, mundane meaninglessness - I suppress the pain and emotions to the point of destroying them completely (DP).

It sounds like it would be worth your time to talk to a doctor.

I am curious though - how long have you been feeling this way? Is there any specific event that triggered it?

 

[coraliecotton]

i've felt like this on and off for the past five. it comes in cycles. not really sure what triggers it. hormones seem to play a part. it starts as this feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. or sometimes it will be a physical symptom like i get this strange feeling in my head. then i'll obsess over the anxious feeling trying to figure out why i'm anxious or if i have got depression then the feeling will get worse and i'll sink lower and lower into this horrible pit get bad dp/dr and feel totally terrible. im stuck between two points of view, one that this is a chemical imbalance in my brain perhaps depression and thats what is causing the feelings and two, that i have some deep dark repressed feelings inside that are trying to get out.

 

[dakotajo]

Hi,

Im convinced this stuff is all chemical related. Im a true believer we are at the mercy of our brain chemicals and not the other way around. Most experts and doctors believe serotonin is one of the major players in these emotional disturbances. I totally agree.

Ive read that they know from studies that blocking the effects of serotonin in the brain CAUSES anxiety and depression. Taking benzos that slow the output of serotonin will definitely cause depression and eventually aggravate anxiety disorders.

Alot of people that have anxiety and depression also crave sugar and carbohydrates. This is a signal that your body is asking for an insulin release to clear the blood stream and allow tryptophan(serotonin precursor) to go directly to the brain.

Migraines headaches are also a complaint of many people that suffer from depression and anxiety. Serotonin is also a powerful vasoconstrictor and plays a role in dilating and even expanding blood vessels which is what migraines are thought to be about. Fluctuating levels of serotonin is what is theorized by some to cause these headaches.

Theres much more evidence that this stuff is all chemical related and serotonin is somehow definitely involved. I guess what Im getting at is I believe this stuff is all organic in nature. Its more a physical problem than a mental one. The mental stuff we suffer from is only a symptom like any other symptom of low serotonin.

Joe