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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel fucked!!!
I can't be bothered to go into the details much, but basically it started a week ago with me going away to university for the first time (I moved away from home).
After two days of huge anxiety I had the worst panic attack ever at three am. I was convinced that was it I was lost forever. Somehow after sprinting up and down the road for a while in my pyjamas, and chewing lots of chewing gum (no benzos for me, lol), and press ups I manged to calm myself down to such a point that I could sleep (I was exhausted anyway).
The next five days or so were hell. Extremely dped, extremely depressed and extremely obsessive about every single thought I had. I couldn't seem to accept that I was just depressed with the usual dp crap that I had almost come to terms with over two years.
Earlier today at about three I hit absolute rock bottom, there was simply nothing!! Somehow I climbed out of that hole somewhat, and decided that was it, and that I was gonna' make a real effort to control my thoughts and stop the self monitoring which as we all know feed the depression and dp.
I was doing well for about an hour, then I started to lose it again. Them I wemt blamk (sorry the key mext to the m key ismt workimg), scared agaim, scared of fallimg right back imto that balck hole, whem it appeared I might fimally be makimg a recovery.
I really dom't kmow (this m thimg is ridiculous), just please semd the usual advice amd support my way.
 
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