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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel fucked!!!
I can't be bothered to go into the details much, but basically it started a week ago with me going away to university for the first time (I moved away from home).
After two days of huge anxiety I had the worst panic attack ever at three am. I was convinced that was it I was lost forever. Somehow after sprinting up and down the road for a while in my pyjamas, and chewing lots of chewing gum (no benzos for me, lol), and press ups I manged to calm myself down to such a point that I could sleep (I was exhausted anyway).
The next five days or so were hell. Extremely dped, extremely depressed and extremely obsessive about every single thought I had. I couldn't seem to accept that I was just depressed with the usual dp crap that I had almost come to terms with over two years.
Earlier today at about three I hit absolute rock bottom, there was simply nothing!! Somehow I climbed out of that hole somewhat, and decided that was it, and that I was gonna' make a real effort to control my thoughts and stop the self monitoring which as we all know feed the depression and dp.
I was doing well for about an hour, then I started to lose it again. Them I wemt blamk (sorry the key mext to the m key ismt workimg), scared agaim, scared of fallimg right back imto that balck hole, whem it appeared I might fimally be makimg a recovery.
I really dom't kmow (this m thimg is ridiculous), just please semd the usual advice amd support my way.
 

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all i can say is its great that you have the courage to go for a run at 3am,i sometimes feel like doing this but i worry what the neighbours might think so good for you for not worrying about what others think.....i know how you feel by the way,the feeling of being mentally trapped can sometimes get too much,if i wake early(as i have today)its a real pain as i literally try and will myself back to sleep so as to escape these thoughts,but instead i put the tv on and get on this machine
 
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