A PRESENT 4 "SHLEEPING.BEAUTY"

hi ghost. thank you very much for the present. i will stroke it and kiss it and call it george.

thinking this through.. i guess your posts can seem a bit puzzling. but with further inspection its very plain that you are barely hanging on. been there done that so i know what youre going through. everyday is a struggle just to keep a grip on the life that is slowly slipping through your fingers. i know this just as strongly as you.. and everyone else on this site. ive been here a long time now, and ive picked this site down to its bare bones. so heres some advice from someone who knows.

i know this place is a comfort. a sanctuary for us lost aliens on a planet not our own. but this place can only do so much, and youre not going to find healing here. and what you need is healing. and as someone who knows what youre going through i can safely say that you need HELP. you have to tell someone OTHER than the people on this site what is going on with you and SOON. by soon i dont mean tomorrow or next week. you need help RIGHT NOW. so do it. this is your life we are talking about. DEPRESSION KILLS. did i say that loud enough?

DEPRESSION KILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first person i told was my regular old doctor. you know.. the one you go to when you have a cold or an ingrown toenail. tell them what you are feeling in the shortest terms possible. heres what you should say...

"im extremely depressed doc and i wanna kill myself."

thats all you gotta say. if he knows his stuff he will set you up with an appointment with a psychologist who will set you up with a psyche to get meds. i fought against the idea of meds for a loooooooong time. ask anyone here that knows me. now that im on meds at least i can get up and my first thought not be a contemplation about how i should try to off myself. sure im not even close to being out of the woods.. but at least i have the will to go on living. thats what you need right now. thats the only thing you need. forget the DP symtoms you are experiencing. in time that will get sorted out. the real demon right now is your depression. cause you ARE depressed. thats more than obvious.

time to stop this bullsh!t cycle. get treatment now.

be strong! you can do it! :mrgreen:[/b]

thanks Jay-Z. i tried to get your mashup cd with linkin park today but they were sold out. yea dont you and i know it since weve been there done that for so long. we cant do it alone. we need some sort of a support system that way we dont allow ourselves to get to the point where ending it is the only option. we have others there to help with the load and put our minds at ease. you dont have to be HE-MAN and take the burden of watching out for yourself on your shoulders alone. there are people out there that can and will help you. and if youre in a doctor situation that isnt cutting it than all you have to do is find yourself a more suitable one. its not that hard... these doctors are a dime a dozen.. and there are alot of quacks out there. but trust me when i say that you WILL find the right doctors because they do exist as well.

enough with that rant cause im tired as hell and i want to touch on something else you mentioned ghost. about some of your problems are out of your control and not self generated.

this is a big big issue in my life as well. i grew up in a very abusive alcoholic household. i still live with my parents(tried making it on my own last year and ended up as a homeless shoppingcart lady. no joke. ) i hate living around my folks cause of all the drama that still goes on. recently it got to the point where i just couldnt take all the drama anymore and my mom had to fight me to get me from slashing my wrists with a steak knife.

but amazingly.. yesterday i had an apiphony. it came to me while i was journaling deep in the rainforest of kaloko mauka. i dunno how i got there.. but there was so much anger and drama going on around me that i just drove into the forest. which turned out to be just what the doctor ordered. up there i was able to really think. and all these answers came to me so i just had to write them down. anyways what i figured out was that these external problems are just that... EXTERNAL. and the only way they can have that intense negative impact on our mental health is if we INTERNALIZE these EXTERNAL problems. yes they can have an impact on our lives like our plans have to change and things become more difficult and distorted. but that doesnt mean we have to let it get inside ourselves. like if someone is giving you a hard time.. the best thing to do is not internalize their problem and not block it out entirely, but to listen, observe, be respectful, yet remain detached. LISTENING and HEARING are completely different. you can respect that person by letting them rant, getting out what they need to, but you dont have to Hear or internalize and absorb the negativity that they are projecting your way.

(disclaimer... another sleepy movie quote below)

"I MUST NOT FEAR. FEAR IS THE MIND-KILLER. FEAR IS THE LITTLE DEATH WHICH BRINGS TOTAL OBILTERATION. I WILL FACE MY FEAR. I WILL PERMIT IT TO PASS OVER ME AND THROUGH ME AND WHEN THE FEAR HAS GONE PAST I WILL TURN THE INNER EYE TO SEE ITS PATH. WHERE THE FEAR HAS GONE THERE WILL BE NOTHING. ONLY I WILL REMAIN." ~ from Frank Herbert's DUNE

this can be applied to those external problems you are talking about. cause they only become OUR problems when we allow them to penetrate and confuse us. try to keep a firm stance and a smile on your face when these problems come your way. and if it gets really hot to the point where you feel like the problems are sucking you in.. just repeat that above mantra to yourself. do it aloud if you have to. use it as a defense. the goal here is not to lose your center. cause once you do thats when you are left wide open to the EXTERNAL.

ANYWAYS...

whats with moving this to fly me? isnt the main forum for giving and receiving advice? :?:

or maybe my post is just coming out as queefs and farts and im just wasting my time. :?

note to self:

advice posted can apply only to the one who posted it if the person who is given the advice doesnt get it.

sorry to invade your post with my rantings ghost woman.

carry on.

{ sleepy exits stage left and hauls ass outta ghosts threads, feeling dissappointed, confused and anally penetrated, but otherwise OK.} :shock:

peace and goodluck kid. didnt mean to depress you. that wasnt my intent.

later 8)