hi ghost. thank you very much for the present. i will stroke it and kiss it and call it george.
thinking this through.. i guess your posts can seem a bit puzzling. but with further inspection its very plain that you are barely hanging on. been there done that so i know what youre going through. everyday is a struggle just to keep a grip on the life that is slowly slipping through your fingers. i know this just as strongly as you.. and everyone else on this site. ive been here a long time now, and ive picked this site down to its bare bones. so heres some advice from someone who knows.
i know this place is a comfort. a sanctuary for us lost aliens on a planet not our own. but this place can only do so much, and youre not going to find healing here. and what you need is healing. and as someone who knows what youre going through i can safely say that you need HELP. you have to tell someone OTHER than the people on this site what is going on with you and SOON. by soon i dont mean tomorrow or next week. you need help RIGHT NOW. so do it. this is your life we are talking about. DEPRESSION KILLS. did i say that loud enough?
the first person i told was my regular old doctor. you know.. the one you go to when you have a cold or an ingrown toenail. tell them what you are feeling in the shortest terms possible. heres what you should say...
"im extremely depressed doc and i wanna kill myself."
thats all you gotta say. if he knows his stuff he will set you up with an appointment with a psychologist who will set you up with a psyche to get meds. i fought against the idea of meds for a loooooooong time. ask anyone here that knows me. now that im on meds at least i can get up and my first thought not be a contemplation about how i should try to off myself. sure im not even close to being out of the woods.. but at least i have the will to go on living. thats what you need right now. thats the only thing you need. forget the DP symtoms you are experiencing. in time that will get sorted out. the real demon right now is your depression. cause you ARE depressed. thats more than obvious.
time to stop this bullsh!t cycle. get treatment now.
be strong! you can do it! :mrgreen:
Is something "coming out of your hedd" in your avatar?
When you threaten suic***, they can TAKE YOUR "RIGHTS" AWAY FROM YOU...although...I guess I just "threatened suic***", so to speakk.
My life... yes. You described it right. I'm "barely hanging on", for a NUMBER of factors...some beyond my control, and NOT "self-generated"...
Yes. This is dire, and dismal, and "high pressure", and YES I've asked for "specific" help from medical people & therapists.
Tablets...urh. Here we go again...
Is my mind a freakin' CAGE that others STICK THEIR FINGERS INTO???
Oh Lord. My depression was CAUSED by a systematic process indulged by (my mother)
My brain is HAMBURGER. Which is a more potent "affect" than the depression I've had since I was a child.
My brain is "hamburger"...because I've just "escaped" a narcissist
(ANYONE HERE EVER "ESCAPED" A NARCISSIST???)
My brain is hamburger. I need a SCAN to double-check if I have a lesion. And I have raised Glutamate, raised intra-cranial pressure, and I swear with GOD as my witness, the drugs did severe damage... My brain is a scrambled EGG mess, my mumm
contributing to it immensly.
My posts are a "bit puzzling" haha
People say "Ghost DOESN'T WANT
Wrong. I want help with MANY things, but with GHOST in command the help is null & void.
I dont march into a doc office and ask re: depression...
Because LESIONS, CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME, DE-PERSONALISATION, LOSS OF ANALYTICAL DIALOGUE, NUMBNESS OF MY SEXUAL ORGANS etc etc Go ignored. I've lost faith. I've "asked" for help, but people are deaf. I cant, at this point expect "help" for depression...I got physically ATTACKED by my hypnotherapist for fricks sake...And they covered it up.