a panic attack please!

I know panic attacks are extremey frighting at the time.

But (apart from the first 1 or 2), I aways felt better after them. I felt more myself, and could enjoy THE MOMENT, even when just doing little things like watching something I like or listening to music, or getting a ride in the car. (I still like these things anyway of course but just using as an example)

Asif the panic attack was some kind of release for the built up frustration about whatever and fear/not feeling quite right or myself due to "DP" type traces.

Of course I know a middle ground would need to be met again, and that things that frusrate me may bother me again.

But in a way I'd like a full panic attack now and then, just to relaease the unpleasnat, things not seeming right feeling and any other depression type feeling.

Although Ive had the shorntess of breath and little signs, I haven't had a full (shaking) attack haha. And this what (after the inital firt few) would release tis stuff temporarily.

After the first few, when I would get one, afterwards I would usualy feel literaly "high" hah. I'd say definitley the best Ive felt, without having to do anything major hah.

When the full panic attacks winded down and I din't really get them, it was replaced by a very depressed feeling. Asif I couldnt fight any of the not right feelings and release them.

I even wondered if it was some sign of "hypomania" coming through, and/or the opposite. Like in bipolar or something. But I dont know.

Then I guess a midleground feeling. But it often feel like I need that release again!

Does anyone else relate to this?