[Guest]

Some personal considerations on obsessional thoughts, focusing outward, and this forum! Hope my story can help someone!...As always, sorry for my horrible english!
As some of you may know, I suffer from OCD and a bit of derealization.
In these last months, I was literally assaulted by obsessions of the strangest kind, ranging from common ones to weird thoughts like "What if I start to believe that people on TV are speaking to me and so I go crazy?" or "What if all people are actors and I'm like Truman in Truman Show?"...scary stuff, uh?
For 4-5 months, when those thoughts popped in I had to establish an internal dialogue with myself in order to try to rationalize them...example:

OCD THOUGHT: My parents and all people in the world could be actors and I'm like Truman!
ME: Oh, well, why I had this thought? Maybe I'm going crazy...maybe I'll start to believe it? Oh damn!
OCD THOUGHT: Yes, yes, your parents are actors and I'm starting to believe it, I'll become schizophrenic!Also, let's throw in other crazy thoughts like mind reading, aliens and so on!
ME: Hey, I have to rationalize, only by rationalizing these thoughts they'll vanish! Ok, Tau, how could be that your parents and the world are actors? It's impossible!
OCD THOUGHT: No, it's IMPROBABLE, but not IMPOSSIBLE...there is always a little chance that it's true, and I'll never know!!!
ME:

Ok, I think that above is the WRONG way to challenge these thoughts...the correct way is, like Janine said so many times, ignoring the thoughts, focusing outward, not trying to rationalize the irrational...there is nothing to rationalize, to self-monitor, because we're playing a devious game against ourselves and we can't win, or lose.
I think we are condemned in a sort of stasis if we try to counter the obsessions.
I'm focusing on other things now, even if it's so difficult at times (because of course I still have the stupid OCD thoughts, but I know that they can't disappear in a few weeks).
I'm trying to be less self-centered, remembering I live as part of this world, and that this world is not at my service or at the service of my OCD.
I'm battling my OCD by remembering myself that life is indeed crazy, but nonetheless, it's a crazy experience that I want to live, the best I can.
Thank you Janine for your marvelous support and great insights, you're the best actress in the world (joking! :wink: )
And thank you, people of this forum, because by reading your posts I'm beginning to discover that this world is not "Tau And Six Billions Of Human Beings" but "Six Billions Of Human Beings, Tau Included".
Ciao!

Tau

 

[Guest]

Hi Tau. I am going to move this to the "Regaining Reality" forum. I'll leave a copy here in the main forum too. Good advice for all, and it might be a good reference for people to go back to after it falls off this page..........

 

[Guest]

I happily and humbly accept my Academy Award, grin (you MUST maintain an active sense of humor around the topic of delusions or you're sunk!)

Tau, I am THRILLED for you. You just stated in your post precisely what I've tried to explain here on the board. Excellent grasp and application of some highly complex concepts!!! I am truly proud.

And I really appreciate you taking time to come here again and post about your success (and we know it's a process, takes a bit longer than we think, but you are SO far along the path to recovery, I just must applaud!!) When I begin my practice as an analyst, my core patient group will be those obsessive and/or delusional types like us - I UNDERstand those disorders to my very core - and it has warmed my heart to know my words were helpful to you!!!

Love!
Janine

 

[Guest]

I can totally relate to the example you made.

The best thing is, as you where saying, just let the thoughts be, ignore them, and they will go away.

 

[sirlee]

Does Anyone know if Tau has a profile here, and if he got better from this?

I have been dealing with exactly what he's feeling and I'm scared I'm going to develop psychosis and start believing im in a truman show experience of my own, I have all these what "what if sensations" about like what if there are hidden cameras around me and what if people are in part of a show for me or something. I know its crazy and delusional and everything, but it feels as if its not, and im scared i have moments when I lose my sanity with these ideas and I just don't know, or if I'm going to get better. I worried that its a truman show delusion, and not DR/DP. But how can I know. I ned some answers and way to cure this. No one in my family has schizophrenia or psychosis that I know of, and if they have, well then they recovered, but I dont think they have. Any help?

 

[WorkingOnIt]

Some of the veterans might know what happened to these people who aren't around anymore. Perhaps Dreamer or Selig or ThoughtsonFire can help.

 

[sirlee]

Workingonit, what are you thoughts?