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Okay...let's just jump right into this one :') ...
I have been suffering with DP for about nine months now and my relationship with my long term boyfriend (two years next week
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) has been suffering as a result. I fear that our relationship will never be the restored to it's previous functioning and loving way. It is the worst thing that has happened to me, regarding my DP and depression.
Often I feel incapable of loving my boyfriend, although I do, deep down, I do. It breaks my heart to think that I can't feel and show my love as much as he is able to, both emotionally and physically. He shouldn't have to put up with this weeping, confused, mess of a girl but he does. That daft, wonderful boy :')
As a result of this doubt, DP has affected our physical relationship, too. I can't make love to him like I mean it anymore as I don't know who I am, who he really is and my on-the-surface feelings for him. My sex drive is very low as well due to the stress DP has caused me to have. He has needs-he's a loving, gorgeous human being! I feel so bad that I never feel up for it when we're both so young and full of hormones :')
Because it's so...exciting, it sometimes brings on my anxiety too as I feel very out of control. We've talked about it and I've even considered stopping sex altogether, until I get better and mentally healthy again, as it's too stressful to even think about sometimes. But I could never do that to him...I don't think any loving couple would struggle with such a harsh restriction.

Any opinions or advice would be very much appreciated. No pressure to share any similar experiences though, as it is a very personal topic
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but if you feel you can, I'd love to not feel alone. Thanks for reading and enduring my rant-Lydia
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