PerfectFifth, I appreciate the point you are making, but I would factor in that we are typically starting from a point, or deficit, where we are introverted and inhibited, so I don't believe Psyborg was saying to go around yelling at people because you feel like it, but to be able to express and communicate your basic rights to people when necessary and without excessive fear of what others may think or feel when what you are saying is reasonable and justified. I think you are making too much of this one detail which he has already put into context.
Psyborg, I understand what you mean. Basic human rights are a line of thought or reasoning I have used myself for helping break down toxic shame, which is one of the types of negative conditioning that can cause the kinds of problems you describe. So when I needed to I might say to myself, "Everyone has the right to be happy and feel safe," or, "no-one has the right to make another human being feel ashamed of who they are or afraid to live their life." It can be an empowering angle.
As you and others have talked about, I agree control can be such a big part of it for so many people. Obsessively trying to hold onto things which were realistically out of our control, or taking undue responsibility for things, is mentally exhausting. With catastrophic loss of trust we can cling tightly to things, even and sometimes especially the things that hurt us. You can't push something away if you haven't first let it go, and it can be a challenge getting to the point where you're ready to do that.
Psyborg, I understand what you mean. Basic human rights are a line of thought or reasoning I have used myself for helping break down toxic shame, which is one of the types of negative conditioning that can cause the kinds of problems you describe. So when I needed to I might say to myself, "Everyone has the right to be happy and feel safe," or, "no-one has the right to make another human being feel ashamed of who they are or afraid to live their life." It can be an empowering angle.
As you and others have talked about, I agree control can be such a big part of it for so many people. Obsessively trying to hold onto things which were realistically out of our control, or taking undue responsibility for things, is mentally exhausting. With catastrophic loss of trust we can cling tightly to things, even and sometimes especially the things that hurt us. You can't push something away if you haven't first let it go, and it can be a challenge getting to the point where you're ready to do that.
