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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Cant focus my view on something properly

Not feeling in the body

Not feeling anything really

Thougts are not exactly in order. Cant be funny anymore, cant pull out exquisite replies in discussion as i used to do before

Time and space feel foreign. Cant appreciate distances properly anymore.

It all runs like a movie i cant get to participate into.

People pick this up and tend to ignore me. Even relatives. They seem very uninterested in what i have to say. My mother might lash at me sometimes. When i say something and talk insecure people even ignore me in a "discussion".

People feel that im not actually present there with them.

I feel insecurity in most things. However sometimes i feel very focused on something but i need to do a large degree of effort.

The world outside gets less colored, like everything is toned down, from colors, sounds and overall "feeling" i have for it.

Cant enjoy anything. Lost sense of life and purpose.

Always overthinking everything. And always thinking of what other people would think or say about me when i open mouth. And when "i" speak i feel like its not me.

Everything i do feels stupid, automatic, senseless.

Cant believe this is my life. I just cant....... How i got into this when everyone else is happy and fine. Wish i could enjoy this shit life. 8 years of being alone, no friends, only internet chatting with random foreigners. The current situation gave me some hope of going back but the problem at base is still there. People around me dont help in this regard.....
 

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Hey man. You sound much like me a few years ago, couldn't even string together a sentence. I felt like I'd lost my core personality. I empathise with what you're saying, and I'm sorry you don't really have the support. At least for me, the people around me are great. They treat me well, and are very interested in my illness amd recovery. It helps a lot, and i could imagine how difficult it would be without that.

We might just be random foreigners but i personally value the stories i see on here, and the sense of sufferers helping each other along. We're real people who are happy to give you the time.

It's not going to be an easy fix for any of us, but one thing I've learnt is that you never actually lose your core self with this illness. It only ever gets buried under symptoms. the mentally agile, quick talking guy is still in there, and he will come out more as time goes on, you will be self reliant again and have no need for support. You'll see
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I tried integrating in groups but they dont fully accept me even if i try to act like them or talk like them eventually.
 

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What groups are we talking about? I've always been quite similar. I'm hard to know, bit of a lone wolf and that's part of who I am, always with a small friend group and no time for fairweather friends. Only difference between you and me is I accept this about myself. You're your own man, be proud of that
 

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Man when i was in college i had major depression which made all that stuff hard too. You gotta think about yourself, don't pressure yourself to act in a certain way, you gotta feel how you feel. Some people look like they're having a great time and good for them, you got your health to think about. You'll pick up friends on the way... people who get it. That's all you need
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I dont know why this even happends. I had the love of my parents in the first 10 years unconditioned. Father was military and was usually harsh. There were no children in the area and no parks in which i could socialize in the 1-5 years range. I stayed in house growing alone. And im still alone at 25. I have 0 social skills, i dont sounds like me when i speak. I want my life back. Every single bit. Dont care about anyone or anything else. Im too tired to care.
 

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Cant focus my view on something properly

Not feeling in the body

Not feeling anything really

Thougts are not exactly in order. Cant be funny anymore, cant pull out exquisite replies in discussion as i used to do before

Time and space feel foreign. Cant appreciate distances properly anymore.

It all runs like a movie i cant get to participate into.

People pick this up and tend to ignore me. Even relatives. They seem very uninterested in what i have to say. My mother might lash at me sometimes. When i say something and talk insecure people even ignore me in a "discussion".

People feel that im not actually present there with them.

I feel insecurity in most things. However sometimes i feel very focused on something but i need to do a large degree of effort.

The world outside gets less colored, like everything is toned down, from colors, sounds and overall "feeling" i have for it.

Cant enjoy anything. Lost sense of life and purpose.

Always overthinking everything. And always thinking of what other people would think or say about me when i open mouth. And when "i" speak i feel like its not me.

Everything i do feels stupid, automatic, senseless.

I have most of your symptoms and my hell started 28 years ago. Now I wish I had only dp. I have at least 10 problems that are worse than dp to me.
 
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