[spannaman]

Hi my name is Jordan, I am 21 and I have been suffering from chronic DP/DR for 8 years now. This is my first time posting on any sort of forum.

It started when I took too much marijuana when I was 13 (very young I know) and was instantly overcome by a severe feeling of disconnect like I'd never experienced before. I couldn't talk or think and felt like nothing was real at all for the 2 or 3 hours that it lasted. After this the feeling subsided and I went back to normal.

A couple days later I started to realise that I didn't quite feel right and something was wrong. After a couple of months I realised that the feeling I experienced while I had the experience with marijuana was slowly coming back. I was terrified for so long and took most of the year off school before I eventually told my parents. After this I went through years of misdiagnosis, severe anxiety and depression before I came across DP/DR. The feeling is DP/DR has been constant and has never come in episodes, just the constant feeling 24/7.

The symptoms seemed to gradually get worse over the years as I was ruled by my anxiety until I eventually saw a psychological therapist. I saw her for a year and although no progress was made to better my symptoms, I did however feel less controlled by my symptoms. I accepted them and and learned to live with them.

This was 3 years ago now and until recently, the symptoms have stayed the same and haven't ruled my life like they used to. I have a long term girlfriend and am in my 2nd year and University.

For the entire time I have been suffering I have stayed clear of any drugs and alcohol as I was terrified it might make my symptoms worse but recently I decided to try alcohol and see what would happen.

So I got drunk a few times in the past year and now I realise that it has definitely made my symptoms severely worse. I feel like I am getting to the point where my symptoms are so bad that I cant engage in normal conversation anymore. I avoid social events and feel that I am really struggling with Uni and my relationship now.

I wonder if I should start seeing a therapist again but even if I do, I have never in the 8 years of having this disorder felt the symptoms have improved in the slightest, only slowed down the worsening progress and I dont know how I can keep going on when my symptoms are this bad and slowly getting worse. I question everything in my life now. My memory is horrendous and all my memories seem so long ago and fake, even if they were only yesterday. My dreams now feel more real than the memories that I have. I find it so hard to concentrate on anything and even speaking to someone properly now is such a struggle, I cant seem to find words to say and even when I try they come out wrong and dont make sense a lot of the time.

Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

 

[tfiio]

I think, even if it won't make the symptoms better, seeing a therapist will at least help you be less afraid of the symptoms getting worse. it's a starting point. from there the therapist, you, and the people that support you (like your significant other, and us here on the forum) can decide what to try.

 

[CharlesNWA]

Hello !! I'm Charles, 19 years old and since this specific day back I was 13 I smoked too much weed and that changed my life.. I can relate to you, since the trip ended, I remember still freaking out from this traumatic event, I was imaginating thing when I was high ( Like a knife stabbing my head and I could feel it so grab touch my head to make myself understanding there is no knife at all .. Well I was totally disconnected and out of controlled ( Worst day of my live ) Until weeks after... I develloped Anxiety which at the begining would give me at least one panic attack every night, had to be on the phone with my friend to calm me but was very intense, then after day by day I would imagine my self being stabbed or things like that but not to intense, and only in the bus going to school I don't know why this place , and things got worse and years weeks pasted then I would feel more and more alone because I thought ( Damn Im the only one who has that, ) then have moments of disconnection from reality and severe anxiety and social has changed, way of acting, thinking and talking to people , and it is still like this today On February 23 2017 ! I never went to a psycologist tho, I learned to control myslef but I shoulve got to the doctor before, !! Well I feel you and understand how you feel

 

[106473]

My advice would be to start trying treatment, you've tried therapy and natural living no drugs, no drink for 8 years...

there is no cure as mentioned many times on the forum, what they mean and don't often say, is this does not mean a med can't cure you.

There are many treatments that have cured people people... where to start? well at the moment I'd say start with the [Redacted] method. I'll email you Kings College NHS treatment plan (london method) it's a good place to start, after trying that, start reading the recovery forum, you've got many many different meds to go through, but seriously, at this stage i'd say quit doing the same thing and getting the same results. If it was me, it would be med time for sure, what have you got to loose?