I try to ignore thoughts like those. Don't know if that's the best thing... Last night I started to freak out too. This happens frequently when I'm falling asleep... it's like my mind doesn't want to surrender itself to the dreamworld. I start to fall asleep and something snaps me awake and my heart is racing and my DP is so strong I want to scream. I actually have screamed in the middle of the night before. Sometimes I scream in my sleep and wouldn't even have known if someone hadn't told me about it.
I don't know the person in my memories either, but I know she was happy and I want to be her.... even though she was 5. I always tell people I wish I was 5. But then even my memories from after I got DP... that person isn't me either. Ah sh*t now I'm gonna start freakin' out.
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