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5 years with DR

440 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  ThoughtOnFire
I log into this site periodically—usually when I’m having a harder time with DR. I had the realization that the main reason I’m so heavily depressed and su1c1dal is because of this disorder. There’s so many other factors that bring me down, but if I didn’t struggle so much with Derealization I’d be able to tackle most of my issues with a lot more will and determination. It’s been years of having to explain DP/DR to people who’ve never heard of what I’m talking about and who have a difficult time understanding, empathizing, and taking it seriously. I’m tired.
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On a similar vein, I've been dealing with loneliness even though I'm quite socially active with those around me and at work with customer service. I get to where I feel that there's nobody to validate or relate to with what I'm going through. It doesn't help that a lot of the symptoms I experience are cross a very wide spectrum. Can't blame others for not knowing what they don't know, though. I suppose strangers on a forum will have to do.
Having that sense of loneliness and isolation deep down is actually ok with me as long as I have a feeling of connection to myself. Depersonalization, the feeling of being disconnected from me, is way worse than any disconnection from others. Although, I guess they’re intertwined. But if you feel disconnected from yourself (which is DP) then the feelings of loneliness around others as a result of it isn’t the real problem. But you already know that I’m sure
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