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I've had derealization for the past two years. The worst symptom for me is the head pressure. This strange feeling is always with me. I have been able to tolerate it, but I can never truly relax. The pressure becomes extremely intense when I first wake up, when I am tired, and when I am stressed.

This is worth a mention: You know that trippy state where you half wake up but you are still half asleep? Well, during this, my mind is RACING (RACING!) with all of these random words that keep popping into my head. They get pretty weird. They will not stop, and they are so 'loud' that it makes it very hard for me to actually get back to sleep. Can anyone relate to this or know anything about it? I bring this up, because maybe my body is not going through the sleep stages properly and it's attributing to the pressure and lethargy. It's interesting because I used to have racing thoughts before the dr set in. What is my brain like now? This guy articulates much better than I can:

"It feels like my brain has been reset and all past memories, experiences, wisdom gained, and all information that I have processed throughout my life is gone and has been wiped from the hard drive of my brain. As if I don't know anything at all anymore. I feel like a newborn baby in the body of a 23-year-old. I can't formulate my own thoughts in my head, process information, digest information, understand concepts or words, etc. When a stressful situation emerges I don't have the cognitive ability to process it internally and defend myself." (original source: http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/26595-i-cant-think/)

After 10-12 hours of sleep, I wake up with the most intense pressure in my head, I'm back to my blank mind, and so incredibly tired an lethargic. I had a job last summer-having closer to 8-9 hours of sleep and a neater schedule didn't help with the pressure. It's so hard for me to get out of bed. Within 30 minutes of being awake, the pressure subsides to the dull default pressure that I am able to tolerate. I've had an MRI and tons of blood tests-nothing was abnormal.

Can anyone relate to this? Have you had any luck at relieving the pressure? I am wondering if it just tension in my scalp and if a muscle relaxer would help. I'll be going to the doctor soon, when I have money.

I just dropped out of college for the second time a few days ago. I was never great to begin with-I've always hated myself and have zero self-esteem. That's what brought me into this state. I'm extremely depressed and extremely anxious. I would need to completely reinvent myself. I feel like I'm too far gone.

...this took me way too long to type.
 
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