[Sebreezy]

Before I start I want to say that I am an athletic kid. I play football and run track. Weightlifting too.

Ok so I am 16 years old and I wrote everything I wanted to say to you guys in a notebook so I am just retyping all of it now.

I feel like I'm in a movie and everyone is an actor except me. Everyone is following a script, and they go along with everything I do. I feel like there is no world outside of the place I'm in. Like say I'm in English class and I feel like the English room is the only thing that exists in the world. Kind of in a video game, the computer can only generate some of the map (the English room) but if you go outside of the English room you can see the rest of the world. But I feel like the rest of the world just doesn't exist when I am in a room. I feel like I'm on a movie set, with different sets and stages everywhere I go. I feel like people don't think enough, mostly because I truly believe everyone but me is an actor. Everything is fake. I feel like the sky is fake and the moon is just a picture but up there to make me think there is more to the universe. But I believe space is entirely fake. I can't have a normal conversation. Every time I have a conversation I want the conversation to end so I can be alone. When I am talking to someone I feel like they are fake and just going along with the movie. I always want to be alone but I don't if you know what I mean. I feel like I am the center of the universe and everything revolves around me. Like I am the center of everyone's life. I feel like I never have anything to talk about. I feel like I will never be able to have a relationship because I don't know what to say and I think of every possible outcome to everything I want to say. I look around in school and see people just talking and I get jealous and angry at myself because it is so easy for them to socialize. I get sick of my friends very fast. I would rather sit alone in class / study hall then sit with my actual friends. I really hate being the center of attention. I feel like people are always watching me. For example, when I am in class and have to go to the bathroom, I sit in my chair and think about how many people are going to look at me when I stand up. Then when I finally stand up and walk over to the teacher to ask, I ask her and after I think about how much I just embarrassed myself for asking.

That is all I wrote in my notebook, but I have many more thoughts but this is getting pretty long already so I will end it here. Thanks for the help.

 

[revuptheglory]

Hi! Ditto to pretty much everything you said. Im 16 too and I've had dp for about almost a year. My sophomore year I actually failed all of my finals and it got so bad at one point my therapist considered me being homeschooled. In combination of exercise, diet, and journaling I've recovered so much and have a ton more energy. But I digress.. anywho your not alone and I can truly understand your struggles. Don't worry, you'll find clarity soon enough.

 

[Pondererer]

You just described my whole life

 

[forestx5]

Recognizing that your perceptions are skewed gives you an opportunity. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes and not realize that. There is not a lot of help out there, unfortunately. Learn as much as you can and stay disciplined. Good luck.

 

[Sebreezy]

Top tip; after reading your intro I remembered that there's an old movie called The Truman Show - DON'T EVER WATCH IT!

I actually watched that when I was younger. But I was researching DP/DR and there is actually a syndrome called the "Truman Show Syndrome" which is like exactly how I explained my problem. I don't think I actually have that people I can snap out of it sometimes unlike people with "Truman Show Syndrome". I just rewatched the movie a couple nights ago and it really lit up a lightbulb about how much I could relate to the movie.