[YouCanDoIt]

Hey Guys <3 let me start off by saying wow... it's been so long since I've been on here. Once you get over dp/dr you kind of forget about this website, and that's why you dont often hear too many recovery stories.

Forgive me if this post is choppy, there is so much I want to talk about, and I don't have the time to edit it all. I apologize but I hope it still helps!

1. First, I am 110% fully recovered from dp/dr. I have been for awhile. I feel completely normal and back to myself and super happy. It also doesn't control my daily thoughts, It Rarely crosses my mind, maybe once every 3 months? And when it does it's just a passing thought, mainly remembering how bad of a mental state I use to be in and being greatful for being fully connected to life now

2. Now, let's talk about how I became fully recovered. It's going to be hard to do, because truthfully, everyone is different, and has to find there own path, and there were so many little things I did that eventually added up to success.

- 2.1 dp/dr is NOT, I repeat, NOT a disorder by itself!!! I dont care if a phychologist says it is, that mindset of thinking it is something separate from Anxiety is B.a.d. dp/dr is OK, and what I mean by that, is it is just severe anxiety. It is not some crazy incurable illness that you're brain is trying to tell you it is. I remember when I was in the thick of my dr/dp, I "thought" my anxiety was cured and all I had left was the dp/dr feeling. Like I would always say "I'm 50% cured, I'm 80% cured etc." Looking back now, boyyyyyy was I WRONG lol. It is Anxiety. That's all it is. Anxiety makes you think and feel crazzzzyyyy things, so focus on curing your anxiety, dont give dr/dp any thought.

-2.2 The moment you stop counting the hours, days, weeks, etc. You've had it (And what "percent" you're recovered), the closer you are to recovery. Keeping up with how long you've felt this way only makes your Anxiety worse, it helps feed on itself. Because then you start reading recovery stories, and think "oh this person only had it __ months, and I've had it way longer guess theres no hope for me" which basically tells your mind 'hey you're in danger' which then creates a Anxiety loop!!!!! That's what anxiety does!
- 2.3 You really have to look at everything going on in your life and truly be honest with yourself on what's good for you and what's not. I got dp/dr like most people, from an initial severe panic attack. And of course, I blamed it all on that night and that panic attack. BUT, looking back, there were about 1,000 other things that built up to that initial moment. One, it was my first year in college and away from home. Second, it was midterms and I wasn't eating or sleeping properly. Third, I didnt know anyone when I went off to school, and on top of that, I didnt have a roomate so I was always alone. And Finally. The most important, I was in a really, REALLY bad relationship. With a guy that cheated on me several times, and didnt care about me. But see, my brain completely blocked the idea out that maybe that's where my anxiety was stemming from. It sounds silly now, but it's the truth. The though of maybe it's because I'm in a bad relationship never crossed my mind. Long story short though, finally breaking up with him helped tremendously.
- 2.4 It's not a one day fix. It's not a one week fix. Honestly, the feeling of dp/dr fades so gradually, that theres not a specific day you can pinpoint and say 'yeah that's the last day I had it'. Its a roller coaster to recovery, and it starts by going a few minutes with it not being on your mind, then a few hours, the a half a day, etc. Etc. But its VERY gradual and you WILL have set back days. I remember when I would go a few days without having it on my mind and feeling it, and then my brain would suddenly remember it again, and it would trigger me and it would be on my mind all over again for like a week or two, and I would feel hopeless, but then the next time my mind would go like 4 days without out thinking about it and so on. The darkest days I ever had, was actually right before I was fully recovered. So don't give up hope!!

- 2.5 GET INVOLVED IN LIFE!!! This is one of the biggest things that helped. I forced myself to go out and do things and have fun, even though I was severely disconnected and felt crazy. It started out small. Going out for only a few hours or two, but gradually progressed. Eventually I was able to hangout all day with friends, and actually enjoy it. At first, dp/dr would constantly be on my mind and I would be completly disconnected, BUT! Instead of it being the most important thing, it slowly became lesser and lesser of a thought on my mind. I got to where my new friends group was so fun and exciting in my life, that I didn't care if I had this feeling I was going to force myself to hangout with them regardless.
THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE MEAN WHEN THEY SAY "Just ignore it and it goes away" what they mean is, live life so hard that it slowly becomes a second thought. Then eventually it becomes a third thought, fourth, etc.

-Possible FAQ
1. Have you tried smoking after you've recovered?
-Honestly, I haven't tried because I don't want to. I enjoy my life right now and dont really have a need. When I did smoke a lot, it honestly was a dark time in my life, so my body kind of associates it with that time for me. GOOD NEWS though! I do have a friend who has also been through the same disconnected feeling, and has gone back to smoking and loves it and doesnt have problems. So It's possible. She really had to go really slow with it though. I believe too high of a THC content is what can trigger it.

2. Can you think about dp/dr and not get flashed back into it?
Yes. But it does make me slightly sad and anxious having to recall this time in my life, just because there was a lot of sad things going on back then :T. Again, that's one reason you don't read many recovery stories. It's not that we Can't think about it without reliving it, it's just that it makes us uncomfortable.

3. Are you able to think about religion etc. And not freak out?
Yes. 100% I can finally think about the what if's in life in a happy and comfortable way without disconnecting.

4. How long did you have dp/dr? And to what extent?
I refuse to say how long I had it, because like I said earlier, it's not important how long you've had it. However, I can tell you it was definitely longer than a few months. I had very severe dp/dr. I was completely disconnected, it controlled my life 24/7. I stayed overnight at the ER one night, Stayed at the police/fire station on campus another night. Went to the counselor 3 times a week. It was bad. So if I can recover, so can you

5. Did counseling help?
Yes and no. To me, the biggest help was finding a solid friends group that made me want to go out even though I felt awful.

Other small things I did that helped: taking care of myself (Sleeping right, eating well, exercising, etc.) Cognitive behavioral therapy(writing my thoughts down and challenging them), moving back home, getting solid ground under me, breathing techniques, getting a dog, etc.

I hoped this helped guys!! Please take care of yourself

 

[Cedric]

Hey,

Thanks a lot for writing this, it REALLY helps a lot of people to just hear these positive stories about actually recovering.

Because of these posts I managed to get this far, it's really what people need to hear when they're stuck in the hell that is DPDR.

I'm very glad you made this post.

Regards,

Cedric

 

[Trith]

Thank a lot for your post. But like often, people who have recovered tend to think they figured it out and can tell others what to do or not do, what to think or not think. This is so frequent with dpdr sufferers that I start to think there might be a correlation. Your experience is already great to read as it is, it is interesting to read about what you thought before and what you thought after, and I can find out for myself if this applies to me. Thank you very much for that.

 

[Cedric]

Thank a lot for your post. But like often, people who have recovered tend to think they figured it out and can tell others what to do or not do, what to think or not think. This is so frequent with dpdr sufferers that I start to think there might be a correlation. Your experience is already great to read as it is, it is interesting to read about what you thought before and what you thought after, and I can find out for myself if this applies to me. Thank you very much for that.

What do you mean by your second sentence? Since his line of thinking (it's only anxiety) is something very common in people who have recovered I'm sure for a lot of sufferers his advice is actually the way to recovery.

When in the midst of DPDR it seems pointless and impossible but you can do it.

 

[Trith]

I am sure it will help a lot of people, I just mean there is a difference between saying "I have recovered, here is what I did" and "I have recovered, now I understand everything about every person who has dpdr, if you think X or Y then you are wrong, and here is what you have to do". I don't think recovering gives people insights about the problem of others. Sorry, I get a bit upset about this. Technically I believe there is a good chance my problem is related to anxiety and rumination. I am not really talking about that, just the form. Like in "dp/dr is NOT, I repeat, NOT a disorder by itself!!! I dont care if a phychologist says it is". Maybe it is true, but recovering doesn't give people degrees to be superior to a psychologist. Like this I feel I am being talked down to. Giving ones opinion just as an opinion or a personal experience is already enough.

 

[Cali123]

I am sure it will help a lot of people, I just mean there is a difference between saying "I have recovered, here is what I did" and "I have recovered, now I understand everything about every person who has dpdr, if you think X or Y then you are wrong, and here is what you have to do". I don't think recovering gives people insights about the problem of others. Sorry, I get a bit upset about this. Technically I believe there is a good chance my problem is related to anxiety and rumination. I am not really talking about that, just the form. Like in "dp/dr is NOT, I repeat, NOT a disorder by itself!!! I dont care if a phychologist says it is". Maybe it is true, but recovering doesn't give people degrees to be superior to a psychologist. Like this I feel I am being talked down to. Giving ones opinion just as an opinion or a personal experience is already enough.

I agree! People who have recovered or even those who haven't, make it seem like all of sudden they're Dr's or experts. Not everyone's recovery is the same nor is everyone's situation the same. It feels more refreshing to see posts that just say "I did this and that to help recover, hope you can too" rather "stop doing this and thinking of this" like it's not that simple for everyone. If that were the case, everyone on here would be fine. It's like people don't take into account other issues people have going on.

 

[Cedric]

It's not easy to recover from DPDR and it takes a long time for some (including myself) but the comorbidity with anxiety and obsessive thinking seems to be very important. I think that's what was meant by the 'it's just anxiety'.

Of course for some it's a different reason/mechanism but I'm also certain that for most (my still suffering self included) addressing these underlying issues is the way to go.

Many therapists and psychiatrists have little experience with DPDR since the chronic variant is quite rare or badly diagnosed, so unless they are experienced it's sometimes hard for them to help. I also believe that the mental treatment of DPDR comes more from within, acceptance and exposure, than from an outside source.

An experienced therapist or psychiatrist is worth a lot more than any anecdotal advice, and I don't think anyone is denying this, while a recovered patient knows much more than most sufferers do.

 

[Cedric]

I do agree that him explicitly stating it's only anxiety for everyone is not good and it should be reformulated, but mostly I believe he's correct.

 

[AZ_Wildcats]

Many therapists and psychiatrists have little experience with DPDR since the chronic variant is quite rare or badly diagnosed, so unless they are experienced it's sometimes hard for them to help. I also believe that the mental treatment of DPDR comes more from within, acceptance and exposure, than from an outside source.

Talk therapy wont fix DP/DR because you have trauma/stress in your body that is causing these mental issues. DP/DR isn't a mental illness, it is a response to PHYSICAL STRESS/TRAUMA stored in your body. People need to do somatic experiencing, not regular talk therapy.

 

[YouCanDoIt]

I am sure it will help a lot of people, I just mean there is a difference between saying "I have recovered, here is what I did" and "I have recovered, now I understand everything about every person who has dpdr, if you think X or Y then you are wrong, and here is what you have to do". I don't think recovering gives people insights about the problem of others. Sorry, I get a bit upset about this. Technically I believe there is a good chance my problem is related to anxiety and rumination. I am not really talking about that, just the form. Like in "dp/dr is NOT, I repeat, NOT a disorder by itself!!! I dont care if a phychologist says it is". Maybe it is true, but recovering doesn't give people degrees to be superior to a psychologist. Like this I feel I am being talked down to. Giving ones opinion just as an opinion or a personal experience is already enough.

The reason I said this, is because phychologist also agree that it is not a disorder by itself, in fact, most don't acknowledge it as a disorder at all. I know this because when I was in counseling, that is the first thing they tried to help me understand. They wanted me to focus on everything else, not SPDR. I say "idc If a phychologist says" because sometimes, people go to bad phychologist and get fed lies so they can keep people as patients. That doesn't often happen, but in the chance it does, I wanted to state that.

Also, I tried to keep my advice in a big picture sdp/dr. Most of the suggestions is trying to change the way you think about it, rather than "run 1 mile, take this supplement, etc."Which is why I said focus on anxiety, because everyone is different, everyone will have to find their own path. That's why I mention to focus on anxiety because it is more tangible than dpdr.

 

[DepersonalisedDave]

Talk therapy wont fix DP/DR because you have trauma/stress in your body that is causing these mental issues. DP/DR isn't a mental illness, it is a response to PHYSICAL STRESS/TRAUMA stored in your body. People need to do somatic experiencing, not regular talk therapy.

Good point but also, the process of building an attachment with a therapist can provide a sense of safety which alleviates anxiety, and this occurs on an unconscious level, not a cognitive level. The interaction itself is just as valuable, if not the most valuable part, of talking therapy, especially attachment based therapy.