i have always been depersonalized. Had it since i was a kid. It didn't cause me pain until i was about 20, because i wasn't aware i had it until then. I feel numb toward feeling anything toward anything. Maybe not 100% but not far from it. An emptiness where there is no joy...

I think it will be useful create separate forum on chronic/persistent/long-lasting/relentless depersonalization. Form without a single moment of free from dp. 5-6 years and more for example. Intermittent/episodic form is quite different...