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MY SAD FATE from SoonWillGone


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#1 soonwillgone

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Posted 14 September 2020 - 06:02 AM

Back in 2015, I was in university, I have a failed relationship and also in academic. This situation leads me to a very anxious state. The feeling of anxious does not go away for weeks, until one day, I saw a group of my friend smoking joint, I never tried it and I heard good things about weed and how it can release stress. Unfortunately after a few desperate of hit, I got hit with a bad trip, my vision went tunnel crazy, sound and voices sounded echos, it was a my first drug bad trip and I never want to experience it again. A few days I was somewhat doing fine, until 3 days, my perception started to change, slowly I was developing a dissociative disorder called depersonalization/derealization.
 
 But trust me, that only thing that freaked me out was I do not know what is going on until I researched it and came across the clinical term. I was basically good and able to cope with it, I even find this moment to be very significant memorable, I can hold a job, I can laugh with friend, I can drive or ride a motorcycle. Basically what I'm saying is I can function and I was finally able to feel 99% myself again.
 
Unfortunately on late may 2020, I started to feel panicky, and my perception started to change again.. At first I thought it was a mild relapse, but I was so wrong, this time it was more severe. I get a never ending panic attack that somewhat hurts me so much, I get weird brain sensation that can even sometime makes me feel like it was about to explode. This never goes away and the dissociation started to get very bad that I started to not able to feel joy or appreciate things.
I cannot continue to live like this, I am more detached than my previous experience and my brain and body won't stop getting pain sensation. I was prescribed with ativan & escitalopram and I still was not able to function even in the slightest. If I was not taken seriously again, I shall say.. Adios to the world it was not a fun ride because I can't attach to my previous fun memorable memory anymore and have forgotten how happy actually feels like.
 
I have not came across people who have constant panic attack that lead to their demise. Every people that I saw sharing their experience with so called "Severe panic attack" was able to function. What in the actual fuck is happening to me? Why can't I function like them? Why can't my anxiety/panic attack go away like at all? Those people had their mercy and was able to socialize, is this a neurological condition? I was not in intense stress when this condition first occurred.

 


#2 Mayer-Gross

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Posted 14 September 2020 - 10:42 AM

I posted my reply in the wrong tread at first.

Because your outset is very recent and other interventions currently is very speculative or difficult to try I would chose a psychological  approach as if it is a anxiety disorder. Many have a good response to that if it is very recent. This site with two books written as e-books have been of benefit to many. Likely the best way to address it as a anxiety/panic disorder. https://anxietynomor..._derealisation/

 


#3 mkeshish

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Posted 15 September 2020 - 04:35 PM

You must have something going on setting off this panic sensation. Something chemical. Please see a dr. You can get help. I’ve had panic attacks that lasted for days but it was due to a drug not working.

#4 PainIsTheName

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Posted 15 September 2020 - 07:44 PM

I will pray for you, what is ur name sir?



#5 iamsufferingalotlmao

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Posted 17 September 2020 - 12:20 PM

 

Back in 2015, I was in university, I have a failed relationship and also in academic. This situation leads me to a very anxious state. The feeling of anxious does not go away for weeks, until one day, I saw a group of my friend smoking joint, I never tried it and I heard good things about weed and how it can release stress. Unfortunately after a few desperate of hit, I got hit with a bad trip, my vision went tunnel crazy, sound and voices sounded echos, it was a my first drug bad trip and I never want to experience it again. A few days I was somewhat doing fine, until 3 days, my perception started to change, slowly I was developing a dissociative disorder called depersonalization/derealization.
 
 But trust me, that only thing that freaked me out was I do not know what is going on until I researched it and came across the clinical term. I was basically good and able to cope with it, I even find this moment to be very significant memorable, I can hold a job, I can laugh with friend, I can drive or ride a motorcycle. Basically what I'm saying is I can function and I was finally able to feel 99% myself again.
 
Unfortunately on late may 2020, I started to feel panicky, and my perception started to change again.. At first I thought it was a mild relapse, but I was so wrong, this time it was more severe. I get a never ending panic attack that somewhat hurts me so much, I get weird brain sensation that can even sometime makes me feel like it was about to explode. This never goes away and the dissociation started to get very bad that I started to not able to feel joy or appreciate things.
I cannot continue to live like this, I am more detached than my previous experience and my brain and body won't stop getting pain sensation. I was prescribed with ativan & escitalopram and I still was not able to function even in the slightest. If I was not taken seriously again, I shall say.. Adios to the world it was not a fun ride because I can't attach to my previous fun memorable memory anymore and have forgotten how happy actually feels like.
 
I have not came across people who have constant panic attack that lead to their demise. Every people that I saw sharing their experience with so called "Severe panic attack" was able to function. What in the actual fuck is happening to me? Why can't I function like them? Why can't my anxiety/panic attack go away like at all? Those people had their mercy and was able to socialize, is this a neurological condition? I was not in intense stress when this condition first occurred.

 

 

i have had the insane neurological "pain" for months on end. it does go away at points, im not sure how though. you just have to hang in there and hope for the best. i understand what it feels like to have a  sensation that is impossible to describe and is constant.






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