Hi - I have to say I was floored to read so many accounts that reflected the same symptoms I felt! Mine started when I was a teen, as some of you, and it was during a marijuana trip. I went totally "out there" with all the feelings of unreality... After that spell was over, I noticed the next few days the same sensation would come back. I'd be so detached from everything....thinking, believeing actually, that I was trully only watching from the outside, as if I existed in a bubble of some sort, and I longed to break out of it and feel normal again. I don't think the marijuana was the main cause - I just think it helped open the door for it. My experience since I was a baby had been of moving from country to country and I think that created an unstable basis for me to start off with. Also, I had a pretty scary car accident when I was 14, so maybe that was part of it. whatever it is, I also know that I can't seem to turn my "imagination" off, and so I spend a LOT of time contemplating the age old questions like "who are we" and WHAT are we" and all that tends to make you feel like you "don't really exist", since no one so far has been able to answer any of those questions, and obessesing over them probably makes you anxious, frustrated and we can go on from there. So I don't know what came first - the DP/DR or my acute anxiety.... I have, for years now, had anxiety disorder and have to keep it in check or it will drain me of all my energy. I have, since the first episode, felt this come and go. It's just too freaky. As I read about DP and DR I was amazed at how the symptoms were, most of them, exactly what I had felt! But it's a great relief to read all your stories, because it makes me believe more and more that this is way more common than we ever knew, and that it is a disorder of some sort yes, mayber not even that, maybe we're just overly gifted with creativity and intelligence! But all I know is, I know how you guys feel and I am so glad to have found you. All my best to you all,
Love,
Sam