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There have been 14 items by Pablo (Search limited from 12-July 19)
For someone with DP you are better off doing something like Tai Chi or standing meditation (Zhan Zhuang) as it will bring your awareness more into your body where your emotions are located
It's actually quite depressing, isn't it? Just seeing the systems in place around us that invalidate. How is anyone supposed to be happy in this world?
The belief system that the parent is always right, started by the 10 commandments 'Honour thy Mother and Father', is the most awful invalidating system of all. The amount of abuse this must have enabled must be so widespread.
Yes, the UK and the USA need a happy medium, because both ends of the spectrum are pretty damaging.
Find your own space, and heal yourself as best you can. That's all we can do really.
Yes for us to become sane and complete people we may have to break free from all sorts of family and cultural structures which is quite a lonely path to take. "It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" yet it takes a lot of courage to walk alone and break free from it, i'm still trying to myself yet I also need community and support which leaves me in a bit of a limbo.
I wish people would realise that trauma doesn't have to be something big. Having parents who are afraid of strong emotions is traumatising, because it makes you feel your feelings are wrong. So you surpress, and this leads to all kinds of issues. Feeling responsible for other people's emotions, not allowing yourself to feel, guilt, shame etc. All factors in getting DP.
Also, as you say Pablo, society invalidates feelings. It views anger as a dangerous emotion and judges it, instead of asking WHY a person is angry. Chronic anger is usualy rooted in a abuse. We need anger to survive, it's an important emotion that we need to acknowledge. And yes there is a sexist idea that men shouldn't express themselves emotionally, which may be part of the reason they have such a high suicide rate compared to women.
I had no idea I had been abused until a psychologist pointed out that my parents sounded narcissistic, and then all my behaviour fell into place. Everybody thinks their parents are normal, because we have nothing to compare it to. And if you have been abused and feeling a lot of guilt, you're not going to want to challenge what you know. There are many systems in place in your mind, the family and society to stop you from questioning abuse.
I think the issue of invalidating peoples feelings is a pretty wide issue in general, there are many belief systems in society which can invalidate you, religions are full of them and many cultures have unique ones just for themselves, for example in the UK people go on about you should have a "stiff upper lip" which for many people just means deny your feelings; Japan has a huge culture around shame which invalidates all sorts of feelings and leads to loads of suicides; and in the US (correct me if i'm wrong as I havent been there for years) there is a big drive towards "positive thinking" and competitiveness, which means that it is viewed as a real value judgement on you as a person to have feelings like defeat and hopelessnes. But if you want to be a complete human being you have to claim the right to your whole spectrum of human emotions without shame, which includes the right to feel defeated, depressed, hopeless, angry, scared etc as much as the positive ones.
But you don't necessarily have to have been traumatised to get dp because all sorts of things can invalidate your natural emotional reactions, for example "normal" belief systems like boys shouldn't cry and girls shouldn't get angry are depersonalising beliefs which short circuit you. A huge range of belief systems, patterns and issues in "normal" loving families and in society in general can be depersonalising.
The defences we use to try to escape pain cause us more pain in the end. This is true I think at least for me, so we need to turn around and try to face our suffering rather than avoid it, all the rest of Buddhism you can forget about. When Buddhists say the world is an illusion they don't mean it literally rather they just mean that all things are constantly changing, which is more or less what science says too.
That's why I never got on this website, because 99% of it is negative and self-defeating crap.
Yeah but the thing is those negative people say they have no emotions but in reality they are angry, you can tell in the way they post they are very angry, but they just don't realise it or admit it and keep talking about having no emotions.
it's not barbaric, it's really no more dangerous then long term meds, when used for bipolar or depression. they knock you out, there are no convulsions....but it's simply contra-indicated for dissociative disorders
I have seen a few websites about it with case studies of damaged memory and worse http://www.antipsychiatry.org/ect.htm , maybe it is a different process these days though I don't know.
Why do you care so much about psychologists/pyschiatrists and medics in general? Sorry to say, but they're normal people, not geniouses. Yeah, sure, they studied for 5 years in college but probably mostly thinking about getting drunk or laid. If there's any help or solution for this problem certainly they don't have it. I'm almost certain that anybody in this site (who actually suffers from this thing) knows way more about it than any doctor out there. Most of them don't even know this illness even exists or they misdiagnose it as depression.
It's not bad that you want to get better, that's great, but I think that approach will lead you nowhere.
Good luck in any case...
That's true, I went to see a psychologist who had studied for many years and had a number of different degrees, master degrees and a whole load of letters after their name and it turned out that their main method of treatment after all that study was CBT, which I had already taught myself in a few hours by reading a few books from the library, so I wouldn't expect much from psychologists.
If you really want to try an extreme therapy and are willing to do anything then go to Peru to take Ayahuasca.
but I when I went to see an experienced clinical psychologist about my problems I asked her if she thought I was schizophrenic and she said no way and she dealt with and treated schizophrenic people every day