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Member Since 17 Dec 2015
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#618594 Subtle trauma

Posted by Saschasascha on 10 June 2020 - 04:31 PM

Hey there. I suggest you to look into dysfunctional family systems. Look into attachment styles. Look into parenting styles. Look into emotional abuse. People with DP very often have dysfunctional parents. Shaming parents that pass down their own shame, conscious or unconscious. Overcritical, rejecting parents. Your dad rejecting your true self and your core emotions is straight emotional abuse. Look up all those terms and tell me what you think. I don't want to make it sound like your dad or your parents are bad in itself, lots of those things happen unconsciously. Just some things you should look into and be honest if they ring somehow true. 

#618510 Connecting to yourself

Posted by Saschasascha on 07 June 2020 - 07:53 PM

I actually think this is a great start! By admitting your anxieties / your insecurities and even telling others " I am very anxious" right now you create a great compassionate space. I think you are on the right track. Admitting your insecurities/ problems with self worth while being totally OK with what you are is a great way for gaining confidence in your "true self". Keep going mate, you are so worth it!

Love and hugs from Germany

#618240 How do you find the cause?

Posted by Saschasascha on 29 May 2020 - 06:23 PM

Hey, dontgiveafuck

you already mentioned a lots of things that I am sure are causes for your DP. It is hard to pinpoint an ultimative root cause but reading your description what catches the eye is the anxiety, the feeling of low esteen, underlying pervasive shame and forming of a "false self". Those are all typical experiences of people with DP and here in Germany we have a professor who even says DP is often times the result of narcissistic conflict. So basically they are underlying feelings of being shameful/different that you were trying to hide by developing that kind of mask. Often times people with DP have suffered childhood abuse and stuff like that but I think that this feeling of shame for your core self can also develop over the years because of peer pressure, not fitting in because you are highly sensitive and so on. Just let me know if any of those things ring true or resonate with you!

Stay strong


#613650 DPD: A disruption in attention and perceptions (?)

Posted by Saschasascha on 30 January 2020 - 10:49 AM

Have to add the Harris Harrington guy is "inspired" by Giovanni Littoi, who has been a psychiatrist and scholar in attachment theory. I link you to this PDF: https://www.empty-me..._Attachment.pdf

This is an aspect that one definitely should cast an eye at. Many DP patients seemed to have a disorganized attachment style with their parents or some attachment dysfunction.

#613648 DPD: A disruption in attention and perceptions (?)

Posted by Saschasascha on 30 January 2020 - 10:36 AM

He had success in treating patients and he makes the statement in his book that even after years of having it you can get totally rid of it. Sadly I don't know any actual success rates.


I also do believe that acceptance and such things have an important role but from what I've seen most people who have had it chronic for a certain amount of time only come out of it if they really face their root problems in therapy. And I believe the reason why not that many people seem to get out of it is because it is brutal. You have to face all the surpressed psychich pain and face very very painful emotions. And it is often times a long time process to really "see the light of the tunnel"


By the way, I have had it for the last 20 years chronic. No joke. Not that severe and more derealization-based but yeah. And I have been in therapy for the last 9 months. And for the first time I have actually made progress. I am now able to feel emotions spontaneously again and feel them in whole being: not just on a cognitive level. Every aspect of it has gotten better. It isn't gone and the DR symptoms are still there but overall I really have made lots of progress. The therapist I see treats trauma based disorders such as PTSD and CPTSD. He actually believes that I have light CPTSD. I am not so sure on this one, there are a few threads where people state that DP is basically just a symptoms of CPTSD. Personally I think that rings true for some people and the other ones do experience similar symptoms because DP puts this constant stress on you. Again, I am not an expert. The thing is, the therapist helps me. In every session, I talk about my conflicts, we work on my deep rooted shame with a compassionate approach. Lots of imaginary techniques, somatic things, working with my body to start feeling again. 


Lastly, what I observed is that most people with DP have had some dysfunctional attachment patterns with their parents that led to a root trauma.I know lots of people in this forum hate Harris Harrington. But I think what he says partially has great value; Summarized he believes that a dysfunctional attachment, accumulated unprocessed trauma and an obsessive self focus are the things that need to be targetted to adress DP. I believe the gist of it isn't too far from what Dr. Michal says about the disorder.


So, yeah, those are all just things I collected over the years and I really hope they are of some value! smile.png

#613606 DPD: A disruption in attention and perceptions (?)

Posted by Saschasascha on 29 January 2020 - 11:21 PM

Thanks for the insights, curiousmind!

I live in Germany and we do have a specialized DP hospital and the professor of the hospital who has also wrote a great book claims that DP, in short is affect phobia. This fits to your insights that in DP emotions are buried, trapped and not accessible. This is the desired outcome: to surpress emotions too painful to bear.  

I 100% believe that almost all cases of DP have a psychological origin. I'm sorry that I can't add anything to the brain related mechanism. I do believe those "dysfunctional" brain circuits are the result of what is going inside rather than some arbitrary malfunctioning of the brain. In my opinion psychodynamic therapy therefore is the best approacht to treat DP. But: I don't deny that certain medications won't benefit some people and I don't deny that procedures such as TMS can't be helpful. What are your thoughts?

Greetings from Germany !


Here is kind of a summary of the doctors thoughts. His name is Mathias Michal by the way:

The self-perception of patients with depersonalization disorder
Depersonalization disorder involves an unpleasant, chronic and disabling alteration in the experience of the self, characterized by feelings of detachment and unreality. Depersonalization disorder (DPD) is the result of complex defense mechanisms, with avoidance of emotions, pervasive shame, lack of self-esteem and conflicting self-images playing a major role. Patients with DPD often suffered from emotional abuse and neglect during their childhood. The illness attitude of the DPD sufferers is characterized by immense feelings of being out of control, helplessness and isolation; regarding their self-representations DPD patients perceive themselves as worthless and inadequate. Concerning the psychotherapeutic treatment it is considered to be crucial to validate the inner experiences of the patients, to bridge the gap between the symptoms and the experiencing self, and to analyze depersonalization as a specific form of resistance.

#490370 Dp/dr.... OCD?

Posted by Saschasascha on 25 August 2017 - 04:22 PM

True OCD is a neurological brain disorder and therefore not just a coping mechanism. I agree that most DPDers suffer from OCD like symptoms but for a subset of peopleit's the other way around, the OCD is the underlying problem that causes the DP. I have had OCD since I was 3 years old and have had every single symptom you can name. I, as well, suffer from BDD, which is considered to be a Obsessive Compulsive related disorders, a cousin of OCD. Thankfully, Luvox has got me rid of 90 % of the OCD. 

Sascha ;-)

#381065 Why are so many people against ssris?

Posted by Saschasascha on 24 October 2016 - 05:51 PM

Im neither for or against SSRI's. But for some people SSRI's can have almost miraculous results. That's a fact. I have suffered from DR basically my whole life. The main cause was my ridiciously severe OCD and BDD. I'm taking Luvox for about 11 months now and I'm 70-80 % better. There are days where I have non-existent derealization. But for lots of people they do more damage than good.

#369158 My recovery from 20 years of DPD

Posted by Saschasascha on 11 April 2016 - 12:20 PM

For some people, including me, severe OCD is the cause of DP. 

#365489 Feeling like i will forget myself and how to live...

Posted by Saschasascha on 13 February 2016 - 03:23 PM

I guess, for lots of DPDlers OCD is the main problem and even if you don't have OCD the main problem is the constant obsession. It's as if you drive a car and suddenly you start thinking about how things actually work and then you can't do it anymore. I believe that by obsessing too much the brain becomes wired to obsessive thinking and loopy brain circuits and the actual emotional experience and the automatic process are going haywire ( I hope you understand what I mean, IM' from germany, so my english isnt' the best :D ) and your automatic brain responses don't function properly anymore. 

#365430 Trapping thoughts

Posted by Saschasascha on 12 February 2016 - 10:47 AM

Hey, Simonlebon

what you experience sounds very much like OCD. I have been suffering from it basically all my life and it can be a horrible, debilitating disorder but you can beat it! It's so typical for OCD to latch on your worst fears and multiply them by 100000 and to totally destroy the most important things for you (in your case your recovery), your positive feelings, ideas etc.. and to somehow screw them into something negative, fuck with them. I can TOTALLY and a 100% relate to your "trapped thinking". The OCD is a fucking bitch, that manages it to  immediately demolish everything important to you due to illogical, freaky thinking that feels real to you.

My advice: Seek out for a specialized OCD therapist and even if you don't have full blown OCD get CBT (exposure and prevention) and if that isn't enough, start and SSRI (Luvox (which saved my life basically), Clomipramine, Fluoxetin. If you have any questions about OCD, message me. ;)    And excuse me for my english, I'm from Germany :D

#363035 How do we think and say things?

Posted by Saschasascha on 31 December 2015 - 11:01 AM

Hennessy and Hurricane123, those obessive "wanting - to - know" things and questioning everything, especially the compulsive urge to question everything sound very much like OCD. I believe that quite a big part of the community suffers from OCD and the DP is a symptom. Of course, when you have DP, you have an obsessive minds and they are also obsessive tendencies. But my theory is that for some OCD is the root problem.


Happy new year and stay strong, no matter what!


And excuse me for my english, I'm not a native speaker