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Member Since 25 Apr 2015
Offline Last Active May 28 2020 08:16 PM

#617370 Nursing School and DP

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 24 April 2020 - 11:38 PM

Hey guys, 


I haven't posted in so long. I've been trying to stay off the site because I heard it's good for your mind to not think about dp or read about dp. Anyhow, I got DP in 2014 due to a lot of stress, anxiety, and personal issues.  I remember how bad DP was for me.. I couldn't work and constantly felt like I was dying. I had a lot of pain, stomach issues, facial muscle tension, tightness around my jaw and cheeks. I lost so much weight and couldn't sleep. It was a nightmare!  Every year since has been a little bit better than the rest. In 2016, I finally decided to go back to school. OMG it was so hard to be in class... I thought i would have a nervous breakdown.. and i thought people would notice how horrible i felt.. But i somehow stuck it out and was able to get an A in the class.  That gave me the confidence that I can beat this thing.  6 years later... I am now going to the nursing program to be an RN.   I still am not 100 percent. Yet, I am going to try my hardest to live my life and finish my promise that i made to myself that i would finish the nursing program and be an RN.  I have some good days where i feel like I am going to be my normal self, while other days I feel like this will never end or that this is going to be forever.  Also, I forgot to mention that a huge symptom of mine is perception of time. Time for me either flys, or it seems like so lonnnngg ago..  So what i've done to help me cope with DP is forcing myself to do things, like go to school this past 6 years so that I can focus on other things other than DP.  I also forced myself to work again with baby steps. I went from a babysitter, to security guard, to Caregiver, to an LPN during this time. I also forgot to mention in 2014, I was a LPN, but couldn't work as one because DP hit me like a TON OF BRICKS! I didn't work for 2 years until I forced myself to start working as a babysitter and going to school in 2016. I guess I am writing to let people know that it will get better. Some people are able to be cured within months and others years.  We can't compare ourselves to other individuals, all we can do is try to cope and help each other through this crazy experience.  I start the nursing program in June, and I do feel a little stressed especially since we are in a PANDEMIC right now. Then i realized, nothing has been harder for me than having DP, so nursing school or the corona virus is NOTHING. I hope to update you guys on my journey when I can. Please be safe everyone and wear a mask! God Bless!

#462130 Feel so much better. Almost recovered!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 23 May 2017 - 11:48 PM

Thank u I appreciate it! Definitely gonna get out of this crap! 😊

#462090 Feel so much better. Almost recovered!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 23 May 2017 - 09:38 PM

Good man just tired.. working a lot of hours and studying.. I'm starting to feel a lil bit weird so I know I need to slow it down. Need to take about a week off and then regroup. But overall I'm good 😊

#449850 Feel so much better. Almost recovered!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 13 April 2017 - 02:41 PM

Hey guys been about almost 2 and a half years since this crap happened to me. I never thought I would see any improvement, even last year same time, I was so drained and fatigued. Today, I can say i no longer am fatigued and beginning to work on my career again as well as going to school. What helped me was just continuing to do things that I didn't feel like doing. Also school helped me tremendously. Just getting into a rhythm again and using my brain again even tho it was so hard and difficult for me. I also have been on Zoloft after not ever using any medication. This has helped me tremendously and my focus and concentration after about 4 months with Zoloft as well as exercising, going to school, eating right, has helped me to the point where I'm going to start my nursing job again after a 2 year hiatus. Guys it is possible to recover! Even though I still don't feel like connected to my body and sometimes things seem like a dream or fake, I am at such a better place because I learned to be busy and focus on other things than how I am feeling. Trust me it is not easy when your feeling like crap.. but if u keep at.. you will see the light and the end of the tunnel

#437146 Reconnected!!!!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 05 March 2017 - 11:47 PM

I no longer use Ritalin as I felt weird taking it. Just sexology now man and all the other things I mentioned like going back to school and exercising etc. :)

#433842 Reconnected!!!!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 26 February 2017 - 02:20 AM

Hi guys!! So first time in 2 and half years I feel reconnect to myself! It's so weird how it happened tonight! Basically, I was just studying for school and then decided to hit the gym afterwards. As I was driving to the gym, I just felt reconnected to myself! There was like no signs or anything it just happened.. best to explain how it felt. I was in the gym playing basketball and I was smiling from ear to ear! I got a bit emotional as well but just kept it in check. I have been on zoloft for about 3 months now and I do feel it has helped me in my recovery as well as going to school, play video games, socializing, exercising, and trying to eat healthy. I've also stayed away from weed. I believe school has helped me a lot because even tho my short term memory sucks still... that I haven't fully recovered from. My long term memory is still there.. and just using my brain everyday studying and going to school learning as well as the other things I've mentioned has me to believe how I reconnected. I just want u guys to know that u can recover from this but it will take time and u have to be determined and positive. I know it's hard trust me but u guys can do it. I promise u. God bless :)

#405993 Passed Chemistry while being Dp!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 17 December 2016 - 12:26 AM

I really don't know how I was able to pass this class.. basically chemistry is All math problems most of them word problems along with a lab where u had to follow directions and have accurate results. I just tried my best.. there was days I felt so drained!!! Days I cried.. no one can understand how much harder I have to work than everyone else! But in the end I did it! We can all achieve something great despite or condition just have faith and push thru!

#403265 How do people describe you or your personality?

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 10 December 2016 - 10:40 PM

People think I'm normal But don't know that I am suffering

#395345 Symptoms change

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 23 November 2016 - 07:52 PM

It's definitely a battle day to day. Yesterday I felt stressed out and felt my symptoms in my face and throats and nose.. then today in the morning I felt more relaxed and went on with my day.. it's so weird and annoying but I still gotta push thru. Time has also helped with the severity of my symptoms as well. It used to be so bad where I would sleep all day or feel like I'm being drained to death, now I don't feel that. I just feel a lil tired here and there or tightening in my face nose and throat or head, and typical concentration issues but that has also gotten a lot better over time. I feel like by next year I should be normal again. I'm also taking Zoloft which has really helped me as well

#395049 Brain dead

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 23 November 2016 - 07:09 AM

Mezona it gets better I know u think it doesn't but it does but it's gonna take a lot of effort to distract yourself and not notice ur symptoms and accept this for now. I remember making a sandwich physically hurt me because it was so difficult to make and took so much effort that I started crying and just making food for myself! You need to get out of ur mind and stop analyzing ur symptoms and why u have it, once u do ur synonyms will decrease. And I know u think it won't but I've been about two years in and now I'm barely going to school, from not being able to make a sandwich to being able to go to school. So please take my advice and if u need to see a therapist. Take out a loan if u don't have money u have to take care of u because ur the most important person in your own recovery. Also I barely started Zoloft after two years without meds. And it has really helped me relax and take away the symptoms of anxiety and help me sleep too. So stay strong and know u have a journey but u have to accept it before u can start healing
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#380758 College and Dp Update

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 19 October 2016 - 04:30 PM

I seriously don't know how I manage to go to school and have Dp. I have to act like I am ok when I know I have a hard time concentrating and learning like I used to. Right now I'm taking college chemistry... literally I do my homework crying... I try my best to do my work and try to pass this class.. I'm at a C right now. I'm not saying chemistry isn't hard but I know the amount of hours and time I put in I should be getting at least an B or A. But I'm litterally at 70.0 like one tenth away from a D. The only cool thing about school is that I'm busy and I'm not at home thinking how bad my life sucks lol.. school has actually helped me have a routine and give me a sense of accomplishment.. I've had ups and downs.. some days are easier other days harder.. but I've noticed.. I've gotten better from just keeping busy.. I'm gonna see my therapist to help with not putting so much pressure on myself because I really got frustrated about how Dp is affecting me. Then frustration leads to anger then to sadness.., like a cycle.. and I don't wanna go that way. I know I will get over this crap soon.. I feel about 90 percent better... so I know I have progressed.. and I want 100 percent but I need to realize to be patient. Anyhow guys I hope everybody is getting better and just know ur not alone in this.. time heals.. and pushing yourself to do things that u think u can't do and just do them.. has helped me go back to school and work again.. although still difficult. 🙏🏻

#375632 Anybody have excess energy? ADHD? OR DP? Let me know!

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 20 July 2016 - 01:37 AM

Hey guys so i don't know if its because I've cut the sugar out of my diet and am taking supplements to help with energy or if i have similarties  ADHD. I have noticed in the past month that i pace around the house like crazy, i am really not nervous, as i am going to school and working now. The crazy part about this is about 3 months ago, i was always fatigued and tired!!! Now i started  to gain energy again but feels like an excess of energy!! I've been able to put myself back to school and hold a job. I still have so many memory issues, i forget things easily like misplace items all time, hard for me to do things in order, when i study i always forget what i just read like i never read it but then remember once i look at notes again,  i can't seem to stay in one place, i am always looking at my phone like text or apps, I am always tapping my feet.  This all sounds like ADHD to me, BUT i have other crazy symptoms that sound like DP. I don't feel like i am my own voice talking, i have time distortion where times and dates are hard for me to feel naturally, i also feel like i am not connected to my surroundings like am just a robot, i really don't get the concept of what i am doing like i am on automatic but at the same time have a hard time concentrating on things that used to be second nature to me. Please if anybody feels the same way please let me know or if u have some type of insight to this feeling! Its crazy to feel all this energy like my mind is always on the go... Its crazy that just 3 months ago, all i wanted to do was sleep from extreme lethargy and fatigue!



#374618 DP, College Life, Candida Overgrowth, Healing

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 01 July 2016 - 01:19 AM

Hey guys, so i would like to talk to you about my journey with Dp. Recently, i've enrolled in College courses for the whole year. Currently, i am taking one summer course, History. There is no way in hell i would be able to do this even a year ago. I was extremely Fatigued, my brain fog was so bad, and it was even hard to speak complete sentences!

I had lost a lot of hope going back to school, even working as a nurse, which i am currently licensed as ( I haven't worked for 2 years). I would pray to god to please let me find a cure or answer to what is going on with me. I felt so alone. I forced myself to work easy jobs like babysitting and caregiving. I had extreme agroaphobia in the beggining of Dp, but i forced myself to go out and socialize with friends even tho i felt shitty. I even forced myself to play in a basketball league. Back to taking college course ( i went off track lol).. I was very scared.. I was like how the hell i am I going to remember anything! I can't even remember what day it is, or where i leave anything! My first day of school i was totally anxious and nervous. I thought i probably just wasted money on this class because i was going to fail everything. The next day the teacher says we have a quiz. I studied my ass off that night and in the morning i felt like i forgot everything i read. Like if i didn't read at all!  Luckily i took detailed notes.. which helped me be like "oh yea" or like "yes i did read this". Still tho, i was like what if i go to class and all my notes i just studied were good for nothing! So we get to class and its time for my first test.. Not only did i ACE the TEST... i got the bonus question right!  I was the only one that aced it and got the bonus right as well! After class, i remember walking to my car and i started to cry. Nobody knows how hard i am suffering and that i am pushing myself to the limit. I feel like people don't care about class and get bad grades because they are lazy are taking it for granted! I wish i was 100 percent myself again. I would kill to be normal again! I am struggling but i am still pushing myself because I want my life back  so bad! I also am doing it because i need it to further my education as a Nurse with a Bachelors degree.  So far on every exam.. I've aced 4 times and 3 of them i got the bonus questions right. So right now i have like an A +++ lol.. 

This goes to show you guys that are suffering like me not to give up! You can still accomplish your dreams! Although you will struggle, you can still do it if u set your mind to it. What also helped maintain energy for a 3 hour class was that i gave up all sugar.. I started this diet called the Candida diet because i was noticing that i was having abnormal stools that i think is candida. I haven't been diagnosed with that yet, but i have a doctors appointment to find out what my abnormal stool is. I DID tho find out that i had a parasitic infection called Entamoeba that was diagnosed by my doctor and i got antibiotics for it. I think the antibiotics tho were very strong and probably increased my candida that i probably already had throughout my body. If anybody has Dp they should look into " Leaky Gut Syndrome"

which i started to do because i was desperate for some answer! I started to do my research and i found out how stress and anxiety can lead to candida causing an overgrowth in the body spreading throughout the bloodstream make u feel fatigued, have brain fog, feel ill, and have pains. I started to do coffee enemas, also take supplements like probiotics, as well as Not eating any grains, wheat, rice, or bread and absolutely no sugar! 

Ive done this for about a month now and i do not feel any fatigue at all! I am so thankful for that! Its still hard for me to concentrate or keep track of time or things (like ADHD) Btw.. never had ADHD ever in my life, usually u are diagnosed as a child, not a 30 year adult that had no signs of ADHD ever and is a nurse. I hope this can give people so inspiration to never give up hope! And if u have a dream please continue to purse it. I know its so hard and no one understands, but the human will power is a beautiful thing. We are meant to be happy and ill keep fighting to be myself again no matter what it takes!

#372997 annoying physical symptoms, my head feels weird

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 05 June 2016 - 03:21 PM

Hey chicane... Maybe u have leaky gut's hardly diagnosed... You should check I've been on his program for about 2 weeks. I've gotten my energy back and some concentration.. I've changed my diet, exercise and taking supplements and I've been feeling better. You should look into it

#372461 Frustration when trying to explain your situation who can relate?

Posted by Sportsdude8 on 28 May 2016 - 12:24 AM

Omg I'm glad u wrote this!!! I was actually so angry today too! It's like we are all by ourselves suffering and everybody wants to tell us how we look "fine" or be "positive" they have no idea what we suffer everyday.., At the sametime tho we can't judge them because they haven't experienced what we experienced.. But after awhile this shit is really annoying lol.. It's been about 1.5 years for me.. And I have seen improvement but it's like I want to be better 100 percent now lol.. I get frustrated because I've overcome a lot and have done a lot while being DP and usually when u work hard for something u get rewarded.. Dp is frustrating because you can work so hard and not get results.. What I have learned tho DP takes a lot of patience, positivity, self belief, and acceptance.. So today I did feel really upset and I'm glad u wrote this. I feel your pain and frustration as well! But again we can only manage our own lives and not give a shit what others think. We are strong people and we've been thru hell, we have to appreciate ourselves be kinder to ourselves more often